I suddenly have this unverning feeling
That everything is falling apart
And I don't mean that just literal but even
Physical , emotional and mental.
It's draining like living is sucking you dry
Like I want to close my eyes and never open
Them again .... I also craves for a little Ray of sunshine.
My eyes are heavy and not because I haven't
Been sleeping not that am battling insomnia
And that every time I close my eyes
I see dark ,sad ,gruesome images
And praying them away isn't making them stop.
My eyes are heavy because my heart is heavy
I want to ball my eyes out
Cry a river. Funny how that sounds funny in my fucked up head.
I want to be alone
Want seems like an understatement
What I mean is having people around makes me tired
Tired cause i constantly have to think of never ending conversations, how to ensure the silence in the room isn't awkward.
But for fucksake it is awkward ....
The voices sound like screeching
And human beings have this constant need for approval
The need to always have they voices heard
It's excruciatingly draining.
Maybe I just need therapy..but fuck therapy
I've survived all my years with just me and God and and very graphic sexual novels ...
Why stop now?
