Vanquished Love And Dreams

6: A perfect one?

"I found someone that truly loves me, but the scars won't leave me no matter what."

Even though Alexa and I broke up month ago, I sometimes find myself reflecting on the meaning of love. At first, when we started dating, I believed I was an expert. Being devoted to one person and being true to them was the definition of love. But now that Alexa's infidelity has happened, I'm not so sure. Please don't get me wrong; we had some wonderful times together. exploring the campus, eating new meals, and discussing our hopes and anxieties. Those were unique times that I will always treasure. What does it imply, however, when a loved one betrays you? Does that imply that they never truly liked you to begin with? Or is love a more nuanced concept?

I can't help but wonder if being in love is just a brain chemical reaction. something that initially feels pleasant but eventually wears off. It could also be something deeper, something that transcends the physical experiences. Perhaps it has to do with sharing experiences and developing as a partnership. But why did Alexa's treachery hurt so profoundly if that's the case? Was it because I had prioritized commitment and monogamy too highly? Or was it that I genuinely loved her and felt as though she had betrayed me had cost me a piece of who I was?

No one, including myself, seems to have all the answers. Love is difficult, messy, and unclear. But that's also part of what makes it lovely. even if it is temporary, the fact that we may have such a profound connection with someone. Elizabeth is a wonderful person, to be sure. Hilarious and constantly forcing me to reframe my chess thinking. I'm not sure, though, if she's the one for me. I'm not yet prepared to enter into another relationship. Maybe someday I'll find true love, that would be her or whatever it means, but for now I need some time to figure out what I really want and what love means to me. Or perhaps I won't. So for the time being, I'm just attempting to understand this whole love thing and what it means to me.

I was lost in my thoughts as I walked home from school. Elizabeth kept coming up in my thoughts. She was unique compared to everyone I've ever met. She is gorgeous, intelligent, and a master at moving the chess pieces. I couldn't quite put my finger on why I felt so pulled to her. Then again, it could just be a crush. Maybe I don't love her that much after all. With Alexa, I've already travelled this path once, and it ended in heartache. But Elizabeth might be an exception. She might be the person I've been looking for.

As I got home, I sat down on the couch and continued to daydream. I pondered relationships and love, wondering whether they were all merely pit stops on the path to finding true love. Sometimes some individuals stay with us for a long, while others depart right away. Perhaps, though, there is one person who will always be with us.

Just then, my phone rang. I picked up the phone and answered, "Hello?"

"Hey, Alfonso, it's Elizabeth," she said on the other end.

"Oh, hey Elizabeth," I replied, trying to hide the excitement in my voice.

"I was wondering if you'd like to grab dinner with me tonight?"

I didn't hesitate for a second. "Yes, I'd love to!"

"Great! How about we meet at that new Jolibee restaurant that opened days ago?"

"Sounds perfect," I said, feeling my heart skip a beat.
I couldn't help but feel anxious about my upcoming evening with Elizabeth as I got ready to leave. Although we had always been friends, recently something had changed between us. There was something different about the energy between us that I couldn't quite put my finger on, but that felt charged with potential. I was unavoidably feeling anxious as I made my way to the restaurant. Suppose I say something foolish. What if she doesn't think the same of me as I do of her? My mind was filled with these concerns, but they all vanished the moment I saw Elizabeth waiting for me outside the door.
"Hey Alfonso!" she greeted me with a smile. "How was your day?"