Vanquished Love And Dreams

9:Present Day

"All actions in the past will lead into somewhere, Successful or not you will get what you did."

My phone rang once more as I was chatting and enjoying my coffee at the cafe with my friends. My wife called to let me know that she and our two kids were close by and heading our way. The thought of having a quiet afternoon with my family caused me to experience a wave of excitement. However, a heavy weight came down on my chest as I slid my phone back into my pocket. It was the same weight of regret and guilt that I have been carrying around for years. The weight of Alexa's death was there.

Years have passed since Alexa's passing. Years have passed since she was fatally injured when a truck hit her. But the hurt from her passing still resonates today just as it did then. And every year on the anniversary of her passing, I find myself doubting whether I've really moved on from everything. Although Alexa was my ex-girlfriend, she was so much more. She served as my co-conspirator, best friend, and first love. Like any couple, we experienced our fair share of ups and downs. But before she stormed out of the classroom on the day of her death, never to be seen again after the funeral of her. I argued with her as well, before she died.

I am sorry for everything I said that day. I'm sorry for how I treated her in the weeks before she passed away. The fact that I was never given the chance to mend our relationship is what I regret the most. Every year on the anniversary of her passing, I would ask myself if I had moved past her passing. And each year, I gave the same response: I hadn't. But this year, as I waited for my family to show up at the cafe, I sensed a glimmer of hope that perhaps, just perhaps, I had at last found peace.

As my wife and children walked through the door, my face immediately lit up with a smile. Seeing them always brought a sense of joy and gratitude into my life. They were my constant reminder that there was still goodness and light to be found even in the darkest of times.

"Alfonso, As usual, you still love her," my friend Philip remarked, teasingly.

I couldn't help but laugh and shake my head at his comment. "Yes, of course," I replied, knowing that he was referring to Elizabeth, my wife, my girlfriend from high school, my soulmate , I love her.

As my daughter, Ariane, who was the same age as Philip's son Angelo, ran towards me, she wrapped her arms tightly around me, reminding me of the way Alexa used to hug me. It was bittersweet, but I couldn't help but feel grateful for this moment.

"Papa, I did good today," Ariane said, her eyes shining with pride.

I couldn't help but feel proud of her too. "That's great, Ariane! What did you do?" I asked, eager to hear about her accomplishments.

"I answered all the math questions right in class," she beamed.

I couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm. "Well done, Ariane! I'm proud of you," I said, ruffling her hair.

As I sat there, surrounded by my loved ones and friends, I couldn't help but think about Alexa and the regret that still lingered in my heart. Did I ever truly move on from her death? Was it possible to move on from the loss of someone who had such a profound impact on my life? But how? How does one heal from the loss of someone they loved so deeply? It seemed like an impossible task, but I knew that I couldn't continue living with this pain forever. I needed to find a way to honor Alexa's memory and find peace within myself. No to repeat these memories all over again as if redoing it by steps. As my family and friends chatted and laughed around me, I made a promise to myself. I would seek out the help and support that I needed to heal from my grief, and I would never forget the impact that Alexa had on my life.

Lost in thought, I barely registered when Philip nudged me on the arm. "Hey, Alfonso, you okay?"

I took a deep breath and looked at him. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking."