Vanquished Love And Dreams

8: Painful Regret

"The regret that is painful to remember after you have said it."

Elizabeth and I were walking hand in hand toward the local cafe while it was still pouring rain outside. I couldn't get the bitterness and hurt I felt toward Alexa out of my head because of the tense argument we had earlier. Before I could even begin to plan on talking to Philip and Anya about what had happened, a loud truck sped by us, scaring me. I then came across her. While crossing the street, Alexa didn't appear to be aware of the truck's rapid pace. Everything seemed to slow down in that instant. I couldn't take my eyes off the impending catastrophe because it felt like I was watching a movie in slow motion.

I heard a horrible thump after the truck struck her. In a desperate attempt to assist her in any way I could, I ran towards her feeling as though the world had stopped. It was too late, though. She was dead on the damp asphalt, gone forever. My heart fell as I approached the scene and found Alexa lying there. She was lifeless, and I had a terrible feeling she had passed away. I knelt down with her in my arms as my mind went blank. I was sobbing hysterically and was in shock over what had just occurred. Moments later, all of my rage and resentment toward her vanished, to be replaced by a profound melancholy that would linger with me for a very long time.
"I'm so sorry, Alexa. I didn't mean what I said earlier. Please forgive me," I sobbed as I held her lifeless body. "I know you cheated on me, but that doesn't give me the right to say those things. I was just angry and hurt. Please forgive me," I cried out louder.

"I wish you didn't cheat on me, so I could have protected you," I said, my voice cracking with emotion. "I would have been there for you, no matter what. But now it's too late," I said as tears streamed down my face.

"I loved you, Alexa. And I still do," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "But I guess we'll never get the chance to make things right. I'll miss you so much," I cried out as I hugged her tightly, not wanting to let go.
As Elizabeth approached, her face twisted in disbelief as she saw the lifeless body of Alexa. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she broke down into uncontrollable sobs. "No, no, no," she cried out. "This can't be happening. She can't be gone."
Elizabeth held my shoulder, but I couldn't bring myself to look at her. "This can't be happening," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "It's not real. It can't be real," I repeated, trying to convince myself that this was all some kind of sick joke.

"I'm sorry, Alfonso," Elizabeth managed to say between sobs. "I can't believe this is happening. Alexa was... she was... alive moments ago, now she is dead."

I couldn't bring myself to respond. My mind was still in a state of shock, and the reality of what had just happened was starting to set in. I looked at Alexa's lifeless body lying on the ground, and it was as if time had stopped.

"I should have been nicer to her," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "I should have listened to her and tried to understand her problems. I was so caught up in my own emotions that I couldn't see how much she was hurting."

Elizabeth squeezed my hand tightly, trying to offer some comfort. "It's not your fault, Alfonso. You couldn't have known this was going to happen," she said, trying to reassure me.

"But what if I had been there for her? What if I had been a better person to her? Maybe she wouldn't have been in that situation," I said, my voice filled with regret and self-blame.

Elizabeth shook her head. "You can't think like that, Alfonso. It's not healthy. You need to focus on the good times you shared with her and the positive impact she had on your life. Don't let this consume you," she said, trying to pull me out of my dark thoughts.

As the rain kept falling, it made me feel even more miserable and depressed. I was startled out of my reverie by the nearby sound of sirens and the surge of people nearing us. Even though I was aware that there was nothing I could do to save her, I found it difficult to let go of her. It appeared as though I was clinging to the last vestiges of her that I would ever own.