We Can Help

Chapter One

Buck knew cutting himself wasn't a good coping skill. He knew that everytime he did it it only got worse, that he only wanted deeper. But he didn't have anything else. He tried putting an icecube on his thighs, he tried food coloring, rubber bands, even going to therapy, but nothing helped he couldn't even go a week without a blade.
He only did it on his thighs, so nobody could see, he wasn't stupid.
But it was starting to get out of hand, to the point where he kept his blade on himself at all times, waiting for any moment to slip away and cut his thighs to peices.
Buck read some articles about quitting, like any addiction it's hard but possible. One of the articles said "give all your blades to someone you care about" and Buck only had 1 he usually used so he wasn't gonna do that, but he settled for throwing it in his trash.
Not even 10 minutes later he dug through his trash and got it back out, he pulled his pants down to his knees and brought the blade to his thighs, pushing hard until he saw red quickly falling to the floor. There was so much blood by the time he was done the whole room reeked of the crimson substance.
Buck grabbed his first-aid kit and wrapped the wound in gauze. He pulled his pants up and gathered his things, including his blade and drove to work.
The drive was silent and Buck arrived to the firehouse quickly. He decided that he should tell Bobby, his Surrogate father, what was going on, he didn't plan on going into specifics but tell him he's addicted to something and doesn't know how to quit.
Buck walked upstairs where everyone else was eating breakfast and sat down, giving his signature big smile.
"Hey Buck, have some eggs!" Hen smiled.
"Ah, um no thanks I ate before I came." He paused for a minute before continuing, "hey cap could I talk to you for a minute?"
"Yeah sure, Buck" he said while wiping his mouth and standing up, leading Buck to a private spot to chat.
"What's up?" Bobby asked.
"Uh, I don't- I'm not sure how to say this... uh how to ask..... um how, how do you— how did..." Buck couldn't seem to find the words to tell his mentor, boss, and father figure.
"Okay Buck, slow down!" Bobby smiled at him.
"Uh sorry! How do you.... Stop... drinking...once you start?" Buck emphasized the pause in between 'drinking'.
"Buck are you having trouble to stop drinking?" He paused for a moment.
"We can help, I can help if it's that" Bobby told Buck.
"What? No! No, I just- I think I'm..... addicted, to something....." Buck found a sudden interest in the floor while tears began to build up in his eyes.
Bobby took a big breath and released it slowly.
"Okay, that's okay, I want to help, I've been there" Bobby said sweetly.
"I don't, I don't think you have... this is, it's different"
"Buck I've done half the drugs on the planet at least once, I understand"
"It's not a substance!" Buck raised his voice a bit.
"...." Bobby thought for a moment before realizing what Buck was implying.
"Your hurting yourself?" Bobby asked him.
"I know it's not healthy, I tried to quit but I keep going back, it's the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I think about before I go go sleep!"  Buck tried to explain himself, feeling embarrassed.
"I can help you, I know it's hard to quit stuff but it's easier with people you love around you" Bobby said.
After a few moments of silence, Bobby spoke again.
"Where do you do it, and what do you use?"
"My uh, my thighs and, um a razor blade." Buck spoke quietly so nobody else could hear.
"I know this feels like 20 questions but I'm just trying to make sure your safe, is everything wrapped and bandaged?"
Buck contemplated lying and saying yes but he knew he couldn't lie to his capitan again.
"I don't really do anything with them...."
"You could get an infection Buck" Bobby looked worried.
"I'm sorry."
"No don't be sorry it's alright, can I see them?"
"..... not here"
"Buck I'm gonna help you quit but for right now I just want you safe, so you can call me anytime day or night and I'll help. Oh and I'm gonna find you a little sterile box to keep your blade in because I doubt it's in a clean place"
"It's ... not"
"Remember you can come to me, okay?"
"Yeah"
RINNNNGGGG
The alarm went off calling everyone to duty.
"We can talk more later and I want go get a look at your injuries, you might need bandages still" Bobby told his 'son'
And with that everyone geared up and got in the truck to a multi-car pile-up
They left the the sene quickly and arrived after 10 minutes.
Immediately everyone hoped out and tried help where they could. Buck started getting a woman out of her car when she started hemorrhaging.
"This is firefighter Buckley I need backup! There's a woman in her car bleeding heavily!" Buck said into his radio.
"That's a negative Buckley! We're stretched thin as it is you'll  have to do without!" A voice screamed back through the radio.
"Okay, it's alright your gonna be fine" Buck said to the nearly unconscious woman.
"My..... husband.......kill........me......." The woman spluttered out.
"What? Ma'am? Ma'am? MA'AM! Please wake up wake up!" Buck called as the woman fell into unconsciousness.
Buck checked her pulse and she was gone, with no medicine or machines he knew there was nothing else to do, at this point there was blood all over his uniform from the woman's spurting wound.
"Is she dead?" A voice asked from outside the car.
"I'm sorry, she is. Who are you?" Buck asked
"Oh that was my wife." The man said unnervingly calm.
"Oh I'm sorry for your— WOAH!" Buck dodged the mans fist.
"Sir calm down please!" Buck said while trying to restrain the man.
The man grabbed out a knife from his belt and lunged at Buck, stabbing him in the chest and piercing his lung, rendering him unconscious and profusely losing blood.

WC 1071