The Clockmaker's Son #1: Renounced (Lee Jooheon of Monsta X x Reader fanfic)

Part Ten: Open My Closed Eyes

Thankfully you'd arrived just in time.

As you forced him to throw up whatever tablets he'd ingested you simultaneously called the hospital. Their response time was incredible. Jooheon was carted away to safety in an instant. You had stood in the familiar lobby of the hospital's emergency wing, pacing back and forth. Feeling incredibly anxious the whole time you paced, you wondered if this was how the boys had felt waiting for news of Hyungwon. Maybe Jooheon had been right that day. Maybe it had just been an exciting event for you. Now that it was him in the patient room you wanted to break down and just cry for hours on end. Your whole body trembled as you regretted every day you'd let pass the both of you by, sulking childishly instead of communicating with him about what had happened.

Thankfully, he was stable within the hour. However, no matter how the doctors and nurses asked him, Jooheon steadfastly denied intentionally overdosing. In addition, he refused to stay longer than a day, being discharged only hours after being admitted. He was given a kind of medication, one you'd failed to hear the name of, before he was allowed to leave.

'Don't tell the others about this,' he'd asked you, not making eye-contact.

In the moment, you'd agreed. In hindsight, you regretted agreeing. This was serious. Accidental or intentional, he had overdosed on those prescription pills.

Only recently had you parted from Jooheon at the hospital, leaving him to catch a cab back home on his lonesome. Yet here you were. Standing right outside of his familiar front door. Raising a hand, you went to knock, when the door was pulled open.

'Ah. Y/N.' The startled Jooheon quickly regained his composure. 'You're here? Why?'

'O-Oh... I just... I just wanted to check up on you.'

This was said with a duffel bag full of what you would bring to a sleepover. Your intentions couldn't be clearer. Jooheon wore a complex look on his face. He palmed the back of his neck, doing all he could to avoid your eyes. You continued to stand in his way, not speaking a word.

Eventually he sighed and ushered you in, telling you to drop your duffel bag inside.

'I'm stepping out to the convenience store to pick up some food,' he said as you scurried in. 'I'll be five minutes.'

'I'll come with you.'

'...' Sighing again, he gestured for you to follow along.

The trip to the store and the trip back was taken in a suffocating silence. Your motions were stiff. Your questions and suggestions clipped. Even the store clerk who'd served the pair of you had noticed the awkward tension. Thankfully they hadn't said anything about it but the uncomfortable atmosphere was plain as day. You... You weren't sure how either of you could possibly clear the air with how it was right now.

Soon enough Jooheon was unlocking his front door, letting you step through first before locking it behind him. You picked up your duffel bag from where you'd left it by the entrance. Carrying it into the living room you dropped it onto the sofa, pausing to glance over your shoulder at Jooheon.

Standing at the doorway he was watching you with a strange expression. A cross between confusion and anguish. He hadn't been saying much this whole time, but his body language had been saying enough. Your presence here made him uncomfortable.

Trying not to let this get you down, you forced a stiff smile onto your face. Pointing at the grocery bags he was holding, you said:

'It's almost dusk. Let's have a late lunch yeah? Something quick.' You forced yourself forward, gently taking the plastic bags from him and carrying them over to his kitchenette. There you began to unpack the purchased stock, doing you best to animatedly keep talking. 'Instant noodles sound good right? Which flavour do you want?'

'Y/N, you don't have to be here, you know?'

'...' You paused what you were doing at the kitchen counter. 'I... I know I don't have to but...'

'It wasn't intentional,' Jooheon went on, his voice thick with discomfort. 'It was an accidental overdose. I'm not suicidal.'

'...'

'So you don't have to stay here and keep an eye on me...'

'It's not that!'

Your passionate cry silenced him immediately. Balling your hands into fists, you tried to hold yourself together, knowing full-well that your vision was blurring due to the building tears.

'I... It's not that... I just realised what... I realised h-how stupid we were being, just ignoring each other like th-that.'

'...'

'A-And I-I felt s-so bad s-seeing you in the-' You hiccoughed, clamping a hand over your mouth as the tears now freely streamed down your cheeks. 'W-We sh-should've just t-talked about what h-happened in the c-car.'

'Y/N...' Jooheon heaved a frustrated sigh, dragging his fingers though his hair. You looked up at him just in time to catch him approach and envelop you in a tight embrace.

'J-Jooheon...?' You sniffled, clutching the front of his clothes as you now bawled into his chest.

He gently stroked the back of your head, biting his lower lip.

'I'm sorry Y/N...'

'Jooheon!'

'That day in the car. I was so upset. I was so frustrated and I felt so fucking hopeless.' You felt his embrace grow even tighter. 'Kihyun was right though... I shouldn't have taken it out on you... But even after that day I couldn't bring myself to message or call you. And with every day that passed I ended up assuming that you didn't care about me anymore, which was why you weren't reaching out to me...' You felt a teardrop land atop you head. 'I'm so fucking selfish... I'm so sorry for hurting you Y/N...'

You wrapped your arms, hugging him back as you felt his body tremble with the tears that he shed overhead. These last couple of days, Jooheon had appeared a stranger. Even in this moment you found him unfamiliar. Jooheon never cried in front of you, but here he is, crying in front of you.

'I'm sorry too,' you found yourself saying, your tears staining your flushed cheeks. 'This time I won't leave you all alone.'

You listened as he sobbed harder in response.