The Clockmaker's Son #1: Renounced (Lee Jooheon of Monsta X x Reader fanfic)

Part Eleven: You Who Gave Me A Gift I Cannot Erase

It had been about three days since you'd essentially moved in with Jooheon. Your duffel bag had been safely laid in a corner of his bedroom, and though you didn't share the single bed, for obvious reasons, you felt like you were beginning to understand your childhood friend in a way you hadn't before. Refusing to leave you to sleep alone on the living room sofa, he'd gone ahead and pushed it into his bedroom. There it sat by his minimalist wardrobe, littered with cushions and warm duvets.

Tonight it was happening again.

As you rested in the couch amongst the blankets you listened to the scream of despair you'd been anticipating. You sat up, glancing across the bedroom at Jooheon who was now breathing heavily, his fair cheeks flushed. He stared, wide-eyed at the wall opposite him, body rigid with fear.

Very carefully, you climbed out of the sofa, making your way towards the small window. There you parted the blue curtains, letting the slivers of moonlight stream into the room. Jooheon didn't react. You tentatively approached him, gauging his demeanour as you now sat yourself on the edge of his single bed.

'Jooheon, it's alright,' you murmured soothingly, drawing close to him but not quite touching him.

He was sweating, trembling as he continued to mutter incoherent words under his breath.

'It's okay, I'm here Jooheon.' Very gently you rubbed his back, murmuring comforting words over to him. He still trembled, but less so. 'You're alright Jooheon. There's nothing bad happening right now. You're here, I'm here. We're resting for tonight.'

You continued to rattle off several other calming phrases, stroking his back at a slow, gentle pace. For several long minutes this continued, before he finally laid back down, listening to you coax him back to sleep. Plucking up the towel hanging on the end of his bed you gently dabbed away the sweat from his forehead and neck.

Carefully, you leaned down, pressing a chaste kiss to his hair before returning to your sofa. Crawling beneath the covers, you attempted to get some sleep yourself.

Jooheon experienced night terrors. You weren't sure when they'd begun, nor were you sure if he experienced them frequently back in the past. What you did know, however, was that every night since you'd begun sleeping over, he'd been having them. In the morning he'd have no recollection of the episode, but he accepted it when you'd told him about it. It seemed he'd already known that this happened.

'Minhyuk told me when me and the others had a sleepover,' he'd told you.

Though you were thankful to have learned this fact about your childhood friend, you couldn't help but feel cheated that others had known of it before you. Since learning of this affliction you'd done your best researching it to better accommodate him. You wouldn't have wanted to hurt him during his episodes.

Clutching your covers in a tight fist you gazed back at Jooheon's bed. How much time has passed now? Thirty minutes? An hour? You moved to sit on the edge of the sofa, your eyes being drawn to the small window-glass reflecting moonlight. The shadows cast on Jooheon's bedcovers were beautifully artistic. Without thinking, you made your way back to his bed, lifting the heavy duvet and crawling into the narrow space beside him. You heard him grumble a little, shifting in the bed as you pressed your back to his chest. Truly, the single bed was a tight fit for the two of you.

Very naturally, his arm came around your body and, possibly mistaking you for a body pillow, he hugged you tight, still in a dream. His warmth enveloped you and you smiled calmly to yourself, nodding off to sleep.

When morning finally came, the birds chirruped ever so loudly. The rays of sunlight poured into the bedroom, harshly rousing you awake. Still, you were waking in the warm embrace of somebody you deeply cared for... So all wasn't too bad. Blinking away the drowsiness, you decided to climb out of bed before Jooheon woke himself. It would be difficult to explain away what you were doing in his bed after all.

You brushed away the thick duvet, tucking it around your roommate before sleepily rubbing your eyes. As your bare feet touched down on the carpeted floor, you suddenly felt arms wrap around your waist.

'Huh?'

'Y/N... You're going already?'

As your heart raced, you realised in an instant that Jooheon was already wide awake. He pulled you back into the bed, forcing you to sit back down on the plush mattress as he tenderly gazed at you.

'What were you doing in my bed silly?'

You opened your mouth, prepared to deny having even been in his bed when he suddenly pulled you down into the cushions, hovering over your body with his face only inches away from yours.

'You look like you're about to lie to me, Y/N.' He smirked as you blushed a bright red. 'Did you just want to share the bed?'

'Y-Yes...'

'I suppose.... I suppose it's okay since we're childhood friends right?' He leaned down, having breathed this right into your ear. 'Though, you should always keep your guard up Y/N. Even if I'm your childhood friend, I'm still a man. So sharing a bed like this... It's a little inappropriate, don't you think?'

Suddenly feeling bold you reached up, cupping his face in your quivering hands. Desperate to make him understand, you said:

'If it's you, I don't mind all of that.'

A look of awe crossed his expression and he hesitated, looking away.

'D-Don't say something like that, stupid. I'll misunderstand.'

'Misunderstand then,' you said, feeling braver with every second that ticked on by. 'Jooheon... I...'

You fell silent, unable to finish the sentence. Before you could speak, Jooheon had leaned down closer, his lips a mere inch away from yours.

'Y/N... May I kiss you?'

Instead of answering, you moved your arms to wrap around his neck, bringing him down to you. Your lips met in a desperate kiss full of a hunger you could only peg to years upon years of repressed feelings. His hands trailed your outline, his lips feverish against yours as you clawed through the strands of his hair.

For the most fleeting of moments you thought you heard him mumble those three beautiful words you'd been hoping to hear from him all your life. You broke off the kiss, both of you gazing deeply into each other's eyes as your chests heaved with each breath you took.

'I love you,' you whispered.

Pressing his forehead to yours, he quietly whispered back: 'Y/N, I love you too.'