The Outside

Chapter 22

I spend most of the day hanging around the park and walking around town. Sometime around one thirty I decide to go buy a candy bar. I walk to the gas station and buy a candy bar. As I walk out I bump into someone.

"Sorry, didn't see ya there." I say. "It's all good. Wanna take a walk?  We never really got to talk at the party." I look up to see Adam. Now that I know about him, I'm not really interested but I'll be nice. "Uh, I actually gotta get back home. Maybe some other time." I can tell that he's not fooled but he doesn't look hurt.

"I suppose you heard some things about me. I've changed, really." Is that a common thing to say now? It seems like everyone's been saying that lately. "I really do need to get going." I step around him and start walking. "At least let me walk you home." Adam says.

This guy will not give up so I just keep walking and let him follow me. Not like I can really do much to him. "So, your name is Anna, right?" I laugh and shake my head no. "It's Annie. You could at least learn my name." "I'm not that great with names, you'll have to excuse me."

I really don't want him following me all the way back so I go back to ignoring him but he still won't leave me alone. "You don't talk much do you?" I shrug my shoulders. "Give me a chance," he says desperately. "Sorry, you have too many strikes against you. Can you please stop following me around now?"

He sighs and rolls his eyes. "You know that some of the guys you hang around are worse than me, right? And I'm not just talking about Dally. Soda isn't all that great either." I take a deep breath before answering. "Leave them out of it. They're my friends and I don't appreciate you talking bad about them. That's strike three. Now leave me alone."

"Whatever. You'll regret it." I laugh at him and say over my shoulder, "Is that what you told Sandy when she dumped your sorry ass?" He rolls his eyes at me and walks in the other direction. I walk into the house to find most of the gang in the living room.

"Who were you walking with?" Steve asks. "That idiot Adam. I finally got rid of him. He followed me all the way from the gas station. All I wanted was a candy bar." The guys laugh at me and I fake pout. I sit next to Pony and Johnny because they're less likely to steal my food. "So where's Soda," I ask.

"At work, he should be home soon though," Pony tells me. I need to talk to him and tell him I'm sorry. I see now that he was just looking out for me. I was being a jerk to him. I sigh and get up. "Where ya goin'," Dally asks me. "To get something to drink," I reply.

I'm in the kitchen when Soda walks in. The guys get quiet and I can tell he's still mad. I decide to talk to him later once there's less people here. He goes to his room and I go back out to walk around again.

A couple hours later and most of the guys have left. Pony tells me that Soda hasn't come out of his room since he's been home. I go to his door and knock. "Leave me alone. I don't wanna talk to anyone," he yells through the door.

"Soda, I need to talk to you," I say weakly. I doubt I'll get very far. He still sounds really upset. "I definitely don't want to talk to you. Leave me alone." I sit down outside his door and wait for him to cool down a little more.

"Listen, I just wanna talk to you and then I'll leave you be. Please?" I hear the door unlock and I walk in. His room is a mess like he threw stuff around. "Well, what ya gotta say? I don't got all day ya know," he spits at me.

I take a deep breath before answering. "I-I'm sorry for not believing you about Adam. He really is an asshole and I should've listened to you. I'm also sorry for comparing you two. You're nothing like him. You're one of the nicest, funniest, and just one of the best people I know. And I was just being a total bitch to you. I understand if you're still mad at me and don't want to talk to me. I'm nothing other than a problem for you most of the time. I just want you to be happy even if it means not talking to you," I trail off.

"Alright, well thanks I guess," he replies. "I'll leave ya alone now," I say as I walk back out his door. I close the door and hear it lock on the other side. I go to my room and lock my door too. I knew that he'd do that.

I'm always causing something and he always forgives me but this time I have a feeling the door will remain locked. The thought of losing Soda scares me. I can't lose him. As soon as I realize that, I know I still have feelings for him.

How could I not? He's always been there for me. Look what I did in return. I can't stand it anymore and start to cry. Why am I so stupid? After a while the tears stop but I feel the same.

 I lost him. I lost him. I lost him. Keeps running through my head. I don't think I'll sleep tonight. I toss and turn for a couple hours before I go out of my room to get a drink.

I open my door quietly and walk to the kitchen and get a drink. I go back to my room and close my door but decide not to lock it, determined not to cry again.

I try to go to sleep but I can't stop thinking. This is all my fault, maybe if I was a better person I wouldn't cause so many issues. But I'm not, I'm me. For the first time in a long time, I wish I was dead. That wouldn't do anything for anyone though.

It didn't work the first time and I'm not doing that again. Silent tears start to slip down my cheeks. I feel trapped, I don't feel very welcome here but I can't exactly leave without causing a problem either.

I burry my face into my pillow as I start to sob uncontrollably. Why me? Why is it always me? I finally stop sobbing but keep my face buried in my pillow. "Annie?" I hear someone say from my doorway.

A/N: So, I've decided that either the next chapter or the one after that will be the final chapter. I've been writing this a year and I'm writing another story on my other account @marvel__fangirl if you're interested. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you've liked the story.