𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖉 𝕺𝖋 𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖊

first date

I was standing in front of the train station in my hometown and I was terrified.

Scared to death.

My hands were shaking, my knees were weak, my whole body was trembling and my breath was labored.

I kept looking at the glass doors, feeling my heart stop whenever someone walked towards them and then feeling a wave of relief, but also anxiousness flood me when it was a stranger who walked out the doors. I briefly checked my appearance mentally for the third time that day. I had put on my favorite lip oil at home, I had just thrown in a chewing gum and I was wearing my sunglasses, my expensive coat which I had left open, my black dress pants, a black turtleneck, a white wrap top over the turtleneck and my favorite white trainers. Overall, I looked pretty much flawless.

I straightened my shoulders and kept repeating "Please, God, please, let me get through this", in my mind.

I had never felt that way before a first date, ever. But then again, this wasn't just a regular date.

This was a date with the first man in my life that made me feel like a goddess, beautiful, perfect, loved, appreciated, intelligent. And that was the exact reason why I was scared to disappoint him... and myself.

Lost in thought, I hadn't noticed a tall, dark figure approach the doors. When I heard the sound of them opening, I snapped out of it and I saw... well, him.

I knew that there was no time left to contemplate, run or even do anything besides smile and greet him.

So I did. I put on my best smile, hugged him, tried to ignore how safe I felt in his arms for that one second and then asked him where he wanted to go for a cup of coffee.

Since he didn't really know his way around my hometown, I led him into the crowds.

It was extremely surprising that from the moment we started a conversation, we instantly clicked. Talking about the simplest things with him was fun and relaxing because he listened and took his time to actually respond, unless all of the other guys I had dated before who had either laughed it off when I had tried to start a deep conversation or just started their own.

We just walked, side by side, away from the train station and into the center of the city. That was when I asked him again where he wanted to go for coffee, but since he really had no idea whatsoever, I ended up picking out the place in which I had imagined our first date to be.

So we walked into the café, me first, and I chose a place to sit.

We sat down, ordered coffee – for him, nothing but black coffee was acceptable and he kept mocking my caramel macchiato, but I honestly found it to be quite endearing – and we continued our conversation.

We talked about many, many things, including our families, our education and current professions and other topics and the time flew by.

It felt so wonderful to talk to him and the best thing maybe was that he also loved to watch and listen to other people around us just like I did. Whenever I was at a café with any of my other friends, acquaintances or whatever and pointed something out like "Look at those grannies over there having their weekly chat!", everyone would just look at me funny.

But he, he didn't. He smiled and kept pointing out the funny things the grannies talked about throughout our date.

He didn't smile a lot – which I understood, he needed to keep his broody image – but when he did, it felt like it was raining stars around me. He looked so pure and sweet when he smiled and what almost made my heart explode was the fact that he smiled because of me.

After he had finished his second black coffee and I had finished my macchiato, we decided to leave. The waitress came over to our table and he paid for our coffees in true gentleman style which made me smile.

We left the café and walked back towards the train station the same way we'd came here. When we walked over the bridge, I suddenly saw someone sitting in front of a café who I would've recognized anywhere – my father. The wind was playing with his grey hair and I saw my mom sit opposite him.

For a second, I didn't know what to do.

Then, I turned to him and told him: "That's my parents right there, having a coffee...!"

He was all excited and asked, "Where, where?? Show me!"

"Over there, that table! Don't look, just keep walking, just..."

We walked around the corner and once we'd gotten towards the congress center, I allowed myself to take a breath. Just then, I noticed that my dad was calling me. I sighed and picked up the phone.

"Hey sweetie, we just saw you walk past, why don't you come over, we'd like to invite you to a coffee!" – "Dad, one second, I'll call you back, yeah?", I said and put my phone away.

I told him what my parents had just told me.

For a moment, he seemed a little overwhelmed, but then, he said, "Yeah, sure, I might as well meet them sooner than later." That made my heart overflow with joy and I said, "Okay, just be yourself and ignore it in case they ask any weird questions."

So we sat down with my parents and I ordered an aperol for my nerves which I chugged way too quick.

After my parents had left (not before asking him everything about his life though), we walked back to the train station. I was feeling very tipsy, not just because of the aperol (but mainly because of that).

When we arrived at the platform, we still had a few minutes left, so we sat down next to each other on one of the benches and talked a little more.

When his train arrived, I got up to hug him goodbye and breathed in his scent.

I looked at him for second and decided to just take my chances, planting a soft kiss on his cheek.

That rendered him speechless and all he could really do was say "bye" very quickly and hop onto the train before I could see him blush.

I walked towards the stairs and, before leaving, turned around again to see him look back at me was well before the train doors closed.

I was left feeling happier than ever before in my entire life, a little tipsy and with his scent still in my nose. 

-for F, i love you