𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒 {𝐌.𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃}

𝟎𝟎𝟗|𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐄𝐘𝐄

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃

𝐈 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃𝐍'𝐓 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐕𝐄 she had said that,i wasn't a good enough support system?! i was by her side always,she cheated on me! how fucking dare she!

i hear the door shut and sit on my bed before grabbing my earphones and listening to anything and everything to drown out the memories.she hurt me worse than anyone has ever hurt me in my life and then she has the audacity to blame me for it?! i fucking hate her,i hate that she's here,i hate that she's here to help so i can't tell her to go away.

i try to get to sleep but i'm kept up by the confusion fourteen year old me still feels,in the back of my mind he's still yelling at me,asking me why she would do that,how she went from my favourite person in the world,the kindest and most generous person i knew who would do anything to protect the people she loved to my least favourite person in the world,the most cold a heartless person i know who threw all of us under the bus and i wish i could explain to him that that's just how people are sometimes and just because it hurts it doesn't make it fixable.

i laugh at him,because he still loves her and then i cry for him,because he still loves her and then i sit in silence for me because it still hurts sometimes when i think about her.just on nights like this,late at night when i'm yelling at myself and my ears are ringing even though all the noise is in my brain.

i hate her for what she did and i can't even comprehend that i loved her at some point.

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i wake up late to mom sitting on the side of my bed,stroking my hair with a smile "morning baby" she says "you okay?" she asks and i let my head fall to the side "it hurts mom" i tell her and she nods "i know baby" she stretches her arms out and i pull myself up,giving her a hug

she gets up after i let go and turns once she reaches the door "i'm making pancakes this morning,your favourite" she smiles and i smile weakly back at her.i think back to last night-or-this morning,i guess and realise i probably overreacted to what juliet had said and most of it had come from what i had told myself in the years we hadn't spoken,these thoughts that dig their way into your brain and won't leave no matter how much you try to push them out,i wasn't good enough for her

i was! i was good enough for her,she cheated on me! i was nothing but good to her! but the thought bounces off the walls of my head whenever i think about it,echoing louder and louder.i decide i won't apologise to her because although maybe it was an overreaction on my part it would never have happened if she didn't cheat on me.

tracy comes out of her room,closely followed by evie which makes me and mom exchange a confused glance because she wasn't there when juliet went in there last night

"morning mel" evie smiles and i feel sick at the nickname "are you making pancakes?" tracy asks and mom smiles "yes i am!" she says cheerfully as she plates them

i look over my shoulder towards juliet's house and then turn back around to see tracy watching me "god,tell me you haven't forgiven her? did you forg-" she starts but i interrupt "no tracy i didn't forget and i haven't forgiven her,i don't need you to parol me,okay? i can take care of myself" i grumble and she looks at me all annoyed then slumps down into the chair next to evie and they start chattering away to themselves about whatever,i'm not listening

"got any plans today?" mom asks me and i shake my head no "i might go somewhere with rafa and a few others" i say and tracy rolls her eyes "you're so boring mason" she says and evie speaks up "leave him alone,he's not boring.i'm going to see my friend mo" she smiles at mom for the last part "why didn't you tell me about this?" tracy asks,clearly upset and evie looks at her "it's more of a...one on one thing" she smirks and i feel sick

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it's 5pm and evie comes stumbling in,her head bleeding and a black eye clearly developing "what happened to you?!" mom asks,jumping up to help her "i think she broke my nose" evie cries and my eyebrows furrow "who?" i ask "juliet,no fucking shit" she grumbles with her hand under her nose,trying to stop the bleeding "juliet did this?" mom asks,glancing at me shocked

"of course she did,who else would?" evie responds "she knows i know things she doesn't want people knowing" she says and i'm even more confused "like what?" i ask and evie cries harder "i can't tell you or she'll kill me"  she turns into mom,burying her face in her chest and crying

mom puts her arms around her and tracy finally comes out of her room "jesus! what the fuck,eve?" she asks,upon seeing the blood on her.evie immediately hugs tracy and sobs "that bitch next door tried to kill me" she sobs and tracy glares at me as if it's my fault

"what? i had nothing to do with this!" i exclaim and tracy rolls her eyes and takes evie to her room,i look at mom baffled,she's reflecting the same expression and shrugs

"i think we need to talk to julie" she puts a hand over her mouth and i pause "we?" i ask and mom exhales then nods "i" she says softly then walks out of the door,heading to juliet's house