If Only, If Only - Unicorn Wars Fanfiction

Chapter Twelve: State of Delusion

((Turn around...... turn your ass back around...)) ((Musical notes here))

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Fun-Fact: This fic is actually inspired in concept, by a song called 'Epoch' the Remix by The Living Tombstone

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(Content Warning: Sui**dal Actions and Thoughts)

All of the other bears were confused at first- however, not even two full minutes after Azulin had consumed the slug- he became erratic and aggressive. The very first thing he did was start to babble about this, that and the other. These things ranging from the most moderate thoughts and some of the deepest inner-tainted thoughts of his shaken psyche.

Azulin held his hand over the hilt of his knife- his arm jolting closer and further away from himself several times as his wild, barely-concentrated eyes narrowed themselves at all of them.

These thoughts were becoming more and more jumbled, and the movement of the blue bear started to falter from being unfocused as he was already. He brandished his knife at them again and tilted it in several directions- finally spitting out a solid trail of thought.

"Co-come on!! I was so- so aw-ful earlier!! Come at me! Take me-e down!" the voice was lulled despite it being a shouted confrontation. "I know-w you wan-na!" it was like he was hiccuping, nearly building up into a tremendous urge to cry or scream. These words became fast and almost blended together when he started to mumble to himself- looking around at shapes and shadows that weren't there. "Take me down al-ready dammit!!"

Sargento was unsure of how to approach the blue bear at this point. However, the wheels in his head were turning at a mile a minute- trying to calculate an easy way to get to the weapon of his soldier- lest Azulin stab someone else in his delirious ramblings.

He could see why the younger bear was adamant about them not eating the slug though. The severe psycho-hallucinatory effects were something of such a dangerous caliber, de-realization and sensory dis-communication were causing vivid neurological trickery.

"Azulin, please! Come on! Settle down and snap out of it!" Gordi was the first to run at his brother- not really a bright idea considering just how sensitive the younger twin was to movement right now- on top of his aggressive hallucination reaction. "Come on, drop it, drop the knife..!"

Azulin started to hiccup- trembling as he shook his head. "You slugs don't... ha-ave the right to use the voice of my br-brother-er this way. You si-ick freak-s-s." It was like Azulin was finding it hard to breathe. He grasped at his throat, nearly stabbing his own face with the knife as he couldn't possibly thing to put the weapon down when tending to himself. "You-ou are all such-ch awful.. awful crea-atures." he continued to hiccup, soon delving into a fit of sobbing.

Gordi stopped, hoping his lack of movement would soothe his younger sibling.

Coco and the other bears snapped out of their shock. He shook his head and looked between the rest of the bears before gesturing for them all to make a silent circle around Azulin. Maybe, hitting him with sensory confusion in all directions would keep him from attacking any one other of them without any backup immediately nearby.

Azulin started to sob in such a gut-wrenching, depressing way it caused all of them to freeze.

A screaming sob rose from his throat, and the blue bear fell to his knees, scratching at his face on the right side. His claws digging into his fur and flesh with no resistance at all as he started to yell several different words of unknown meaning. He cursed himself, and 'the black abyss' and the generals in charge of this cesspool of pain and hatred they called a war.

""Augh! Dammit! Fucking damn it all! Send me back to the pits of he-ell where I bel-long!! Send Me-e back-k!! Take my *hic* stupid, useless, *hic* motherfucking stup-pid d-amn-mn filth-yy-" Azulin started to make no sense at all- and he hoisted up his knife before pointing it at his own gut his hands stumbled and fumbled- nearly dropping the objects several times as his body lurched forward getting closer and closer to the blade.

During all the sobbing, the blue bear seemed to have an epiphany, his unsteady head looking over to the knife in his hands before a wavering, terrified smile crossed his face. His lips quivered as he clumsily brought his other hand to the blade of the knife- a laughter escaping from within him.

"I- I can... I am... I... i'm..." he couldn't form thoughts anymore- he was getting cold and all he could hear was shouting as his vision clouded over all of the rainbow dystopian overlay that clouded him. He couldn't help but laugh harder. His hands felt wet and sticky.

"Haha.. ahhaha-ha I... I... I pissed mys-self didn't I" Azulin mused to the seemingly open air as a chorus of gasps came from the approaching bears around him. At this point, all plans were out the window. What they needed was to just stop him without getting stabbed too badly.

"Ah-! Azulin!! Hold on, please!! We're here- put the knife down. Give it to me..!" Gordi was too mortified to try and talk down his brother, too frightened by the sight of blood pooling under his brothers body as the blue sibling continued to laugh himself into the raw edges of the knives blade that he was somehow now lying on top of.

The mournfully delightful delirium that he was enduring knowing no bounds.

Gordi and the polar bear twins started to cry- both from fear and alarm. The pink bear quickly pulling Azulin to his back and securing down his arms as the blue hear started to flail- weakly at that. The blood loss becoming too great for him to laugh through.

"Heh.. ahaha... I... i'm such a scumbag and a loser... and... such.. a stupid.. dumb... mis-stake. I.. I finally... I finally did something... right..."

It was at this point that Azulin started to black out, his arms stopping their uncontrolled movements. and erratic gestures.

"We need medical assistance, don't just sit there!! Come on!!" Sargento started to bark orders, his eyes still panicked from what he had just witnessed. The bigger bear sat next to Gordi and kept the knife in Azulin's abdomen to prevent the faster flow of blood-loss.

The other bears were too stunned to speak- even Padre. He yelled the orders again- sending all of the other bears scrambling to get what they needed to at least heal and patch up what looked like a critical wound.

Sargento looked down to the blue bear- the worry eminent in his eyes. He kept his paw near the area were the knife was- Gordi the only one still next to him.

"When did these thoughts first start showing...?"

Gordi wiped his face as he struggled to swallow his own building emotions.

"Iv'e never... seen or heard him like this before..."

Sargento used his other pawn to pat Gordi on the Shoulder. "After this, we are finding that lost troupe and heading back to camp. We all were not prepared for this mission and he kept us from what could have been an even bigger disaster... it that did THIS to him... who the hell knows what would have happened if all of us ate those things..."

Gordi shakily nodded.

"Si..."

((To Be Continued))