You could be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions

2st april 1992

                                                                                                        Teignmouth, My house, 2st april 1992

Hello, Diary, I'm back,

I have so much to tell you and it is true that I should go in order...

No, i can't

I'M OFFICIALLY IN A BAAAAAANNNNDD WOOAAAHHHH!!!!
I couldn't wait to tell you ... write it to you .. in short, let you know!

I left you at yesterday afternoon, when against all the most adverse forecasts I managed to tidy my bedroom for real.

And when the bell rang shortly after, I had to maintain a certain composure so as not to show I was panting after running to open the door.

It was Dominic. He's always smiling. And he brought a guitar with him.

Unfortunately I wasn't quick enough to carry him up to my room and my grandmother met him already armed with freshly baked cookies.

"You are my dear Matthew's friend, how nice to meet you!" She smiled at him, extending the plate towards him.

What a bloody debacle!
I had exchanged four flipping words with him, only for his extreme courtesy he agreed to come to my house and my grandmother came out with these heavy and too classifying names.

I was one step away from going into the garden, taking the shovel and burying myself alive... but do you want to know what Dominic replied?

"Mrs. Matthew's Grandmother, time will tell. For now I consider myself just a very well received guest and very lucky to have tasted such good biscuits!"

Did I mention that boy is really adorable?

Do you think my grandmother was the greatest danger?

Well, it's because you don't know my mum, who appeared out of nowhere and looked so deeply into Dominic's eyes as if she wanted to read his soul... and mum is psychic, she knows about this stuff.

"I am pleased to see that my son has decided to broaden his connections, he is always so alone, I always tell him that, however it's a beautiful thing, guitar and piano cannot be his friends in the physical sense of the word!"

If first I wanted to use the shovel to bury myself, after that I wanted to take it and give myself a sharp blow on the head.

Dominic looked at her almost deeper than she had done and then replied: "Mrs Bellamy, ou're right to be happy for that, too much solitude is not good for anyone."

I mean, do you understand? He didn't walk away, embarrassed, or worse, annoyed, or worse than worst, disgusted.

At least Paul was away from home, so once the obstacles were over, we got to my room..

He said I have a nice room, and he especially liked the posters. I found out that we have a lot of musical tastes in common, but we differ a lot on others.

He has taken his guitar, I took mine, an acoustic, like his, although I think the electric is more fun. We sat on my bed and he asked me to play him something.

Since we both like Nirvana, I chose 'Come as you are', but without singing it.

He cut me off midway, saying that the chord change was too abrupt, he showed me how it should be done.. and I have to admit that he did it much more harmoniously.

He proposed that we play it together and a beautiful synergy was immediately created, only then I anticipated a chord change, I was too frantic and ruined everything.

However, Dominic wasn't mad at me at all for that, he put his guitar on the floor to slide towards me, he placed his hand on mine, on the neck of the guitar and made me understand the exact moment in which the chord needs to be changed.

I didn't expect that contact, it left me a little bewildered and I don't understand why... maybe it was the irrepressible desire I have to perfect myself on the guitar.

After that we tried once more playing it together and this time the synchronicity was perfect.

He complimented me a lot and I gloated like a fool.

Before leaving, he told me he hadn't missed noticing the piano I have downstairs and wanted me to play him something.

Usually I don't do it for anyone but mum, grandma or Paul... instead I sat on the stool, I chose to play the Nocturne 1 in F sharp minor by Rachmaninov and it seemed to me the most natural thing in the world.

And this was yesterday, let's move on to today... because I anticipated it, didn't I? After the lessons, today there was the audition.

I went to the classroom we had agreed on, by then deserted, where Dominic and three other guys were waiting for me, the remaining members of Carnage Mayhem, who however looked more like someone who is doing you a favor by staying there.

But not Dominic, I had his undivided attention.

This time I chose AC/DC with my beloved electric guitar, ready to perform 'Highway to Hell', I connected it to the amplifier and I no longer thought if I was respecting the passage of the chords, if the riffs I chose were too risky, as well as totally improvised; I let myself be totally carried away by the music. And I even sang, I had fun making those screams like a possessed, hahaha.

The three guys - if they didn't bother to learn my name I don't see why I should - gave a sterile micro applause... but Dominic, ooohhh, he was literally excited, he screamed, he cheered me, yes, his hands were worn out from applauding me and then he ran towards me, grabbing me by the shoulders.

"Carnage Mayhem do indeed have a new guitarist!" He announced, super smiling. "And also a singer, I might add." then he only said this to me, in my ear: "And after your performance yesterday afternoon at your house, which was incredible, I can certainly say a pianist, too."

I'm not used to all this attention, to seeing my talent - hell yeah, Diary, at least I don't have to be modest with you, I have an immense fucking talent and it can't remain confined to my room, much less this shit hole town. - recognized, but above all so appreciated.

And as if I didn't fill enough roles already, Dominic left me with a question that's been racking my brain: "Can you even write songs?"

Yes, come on, I think I can do it... or at least I'll try.

Ah, d' you know he told me I can call him 'Dom'? And I told him he can call me 'Matt'... I don't know, it makes it more confidential, I like it better.

However, Dom is way, way too kind... he must be gay for sure!