You could be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions

15th June 1992

                                                              Teignmouth, Il Den, 15th June 1992

Hi Diary.
yes, I know, I'm terrible, I have started so well that it seemed I had to write to you every day and instead...

Look, how late I get back to you.
But I have my reasons, you know?
First I had to clarify what was important to write to you.

And, I admit it, I was a bit overwhelmed by events, I lived days so intense that they left me excited, satisfied, but too tired to share them with you.

But now, thanks to this fresh air that can only be breathed in this park where we skipped lessons countless times (and then I didn't tell you, but that fateful day after school it was right here that I asked Dom if he could give me guitar lessons), I felt like picking you up again.
Maybe it's also because Dom isn't here, he's gone on a family trip, he does it every now and then, he's very attached to his parents.
Unlike me, he has parents who love each other very much, but I'm happy for him.

How do I know all this stuff about him? Because since the day of the audition Dom and I have bonded so much. At first we only saw each other for the guitar lessons that he still gives me from time to time, even though he says I've made such remarkable progress that I'll soon be teaching him something.

And then for rehearsals with our band, me, him and One, Two, Three, because I told you I wouldn't bother learning their names... and I did right, you know?
They left because they weren't motivated enough, they walked out on us without beating about the bush and now we've been rehearsing for a few weeks with Four, Five and Six,... and if I call them that, you already know why.

But I wasn't talking about them, I've already wasted way too much ink on these pages for them, let's get back to the really important stuff.
Dom and I started looking for each other quite frequently: me offering to walk him home from school or vice versa, a movie coming out at the cinema that we both want to see, so we end up going to see it together, me inviting Dom to my place to let him listen to some of my records, him doing the same... and from his grandmother to his sister, I don't know which of that family is the kindest to me,I get a very warm welcome every time, but even in my family everyone dotes on him, me first, haha.
And when we can't see each other physically, we have very long phone calls, talking about anything, even before writing to you he called me, but since he wasn't at his house he had less time to dedicate to me and I understand that.

Last month, on May 1st to be precise, after exactly one month of going out, I banished any kind of fear or shyness. I took him aside and told him clearly: 'Dom, I think that now you are my best friend.'
There was a moment of silence on his part, as he looked at me seriously in the face and I was already completely desperate, fearing that I had run before I could walk, that I had frightened him in some way.

But then do you know what he did? He smiled at me, hugged me tightly and replied: "Oh, Matteh, if you hadn't said it I would have. You're my best friend too, but I don't think that, I know that for all intents and purposes."

'Matteh', he had never called me that... I like that he has his own way of calling me, now I want to find one too.

So, do you understand, dear Diary? I not only have a regular band, but I also have a best friend, the most special one there could ever be.

And then that hug... something moved inside me... I mean, he and I are very physical, we love contact with each other very much, whether it's to play a joke or when we need some affection... but so close... he had never held me like that before and it was such a beautiful feeling.

Uh, it's true I left you with a nice unfinished business... would I be able to write a song?
Well, the answer is yes, and more than one, it's like having opened a Pandora's box: I can't stop myself anymore and I pull out a bit of everything, from the rabid, even better if stuffed with swear words that are so cool, haha, on the verge of nonsense... and all with a mad rhythm, which Dom handles beautifully... and it goes without saying that Dom approved my songs with unprecedented enthusiasm.
Only then I also tried something more serious, reasoned and, bloody hell, it scares me to dig so deep into my soul and find out what comes out of it.
But it is one of those fears that fascinate me.
Not even Dom has read those lyrics, for now they remain where they are.

However, during these days there was also an event that is certainly important to me, my birthday. And Dom knows me so well by now, he knows my mom's passions that he passed on to me too, so he gave me a Ouija board. Not that I didn't already have one... or ten, but I appreciated it so much, even more because he wanted to have a séance with me, even if he was pissing himself off with fear!

We summoned a spirit, I asked him if we are going to be the most amazing band on the planet and he replied: 'Soon'.

Who knows if he's right, in my opinion he is and time will tell, time that I can't wait to spend with Dom as soon as he gets back from his trip.Uhmm... I just re-read you and I have the feeling that I'm naming Dominic a bit too much.At this point, I really hope Dom is gay, because maybe I am becoming gay.Great, now I also want to write a song about him.