All I wish for is to perish

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All I desire is being dead, right now.
I do not intend to cry, but I am unable to reach my blade, resulting in me being trapped here.

I have no reason to live, and all I want is for my blood to leave my body and kill me.
Take these demons out of my head.

No one will know I attempted because I have not perished.
Undoubtedly it was not my time, but I'm far from okay.

Why was unable to I reach you?
I expected to be found cold and blue, free of pain and dread, but I am still alive.

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