People come and go.
There are times when the world seems to have lost all its colors and the melody of life has turned into agonizing silence.
There are times when your knees feel weak every morning while getting out of bed, and the repetative tune...
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All that I want Is to wake up fine
“Y/n, you as an individual were used to this kind of system, where you were secluded from crowded places as much as possible. Yes, school of course is a type of contact with people, but apart from that, as you have told me, you did not attend any larger events at all for a few years now, have you?”
Correct.
She was always correct. As if her eyes saw beyond people´s skin, beyond all the organic matter and blood deep into one´s core. Analyzing people was her job after all. The woman now perhaps unpleasantly familiar sat across from you as usual with clipboard in her lap.
Old habits die hard, I guess. After so much time of separation from the rest of the world it was a bit difficult fitting back in. Too difficult for you to bother with. So, you eventually gave up trying.
Your vision was focused on the window. Slowly rising sun threw its first shy rays of light down to awaking streets. You nodded your head.
She clicked the pen in her palm.
Tell me that I'm alright
“Then, it was quite natural for anxiety to appear. Attending such event was uncommon, your organism wasn´t used to the noise, nor the amount of people, and reacted in self-defense. You mentioned it appeared suddenly, can you think of anything in particular which could have triggered the attack? Or was it the situation in general?”
That I ain't gonna die
Her voice was very calming. It fit the scenery of sunrise perfectly. But it carried something that made you adore how nice it resonated in her throat, rather than pay attention to her words. The meaning kept escaping her sentences before they reached your ears. But you did your best to follow what she was saying. The ticking clocks on the wall were distracting.
“I remembered something, and it made me emotional.” You were straightforward. You were not here to make her job difficult.
However, you did not look at her. Only listened and nodded your head and spoke up from time to time. It has always been like that. She did the talking, knowing you won´t speak without being asked a question.
Scribbling.
“Are you comfortable enough with sharing more details?”
All that I want Is a hole in the ground
Only then you hesitated for a while. “It was… about my friend… she- well we don´t-“ You struggled to form an answer. So, you silenced yourself before your lips betrayed you and let too much seep through.
Your therapist waited. Patiently, giving you space to find the right words. Yet, after seeing that was your final answer and no more would come out of you, she turned her face down to the clipboard.
