Paying off my debt

Chapter 6

Hey hey hey!!!...with much enthusiasm

I'm so sorry for the delay...I kinda needed a few days break and.... I'm back.
Did you miss me?
Yeah you did :)
Well then, Enjoy.

     
       Sitting in awkward silence in a crowdy restaurant, staring at the familiar figure looking back at me from across the table.
"So... how's it going?"

"Cut the bullshit. What do you want"
I scowled.

"Look son I know–"

"I'm not your son" I cut in.
He looked at me with hurt,"I just want to have dinner with you,spend some time together"

The waitress brought in the food he had ordered a while back, pouring me a glass of wine and I gratefully chugged it down.
"I thought you never had time? What changed your mind?"

I remember how I spent part of my life trying to get his attention.
What a joke

I poured myself another glass of sweet wine,it was the only thing keeping me calm at the moment.

"I-I just want us to go back to being a family"
  I freezed immediately the glass touched my lip and I placed it down gently,I looked up at my supposed father with a clenched jaw.
"We were never a family"

His eyes widened probably in realization and then he exhaled with a little grunt,"Can we just put all that happened behind–"

"No" my eyes drifting everywhere before landing on the plate of food in front of me "We don't get to move on, You don't get to move on"

"Look I understand what you've gone through" he said reaching for my hand from across the table but I retracted.

"You don't understand anything" I said in a low tone,I wasn't about to get emotional because of him.

I watched as his hands shake......
Pathetic

"Why now?" I asked " why do you suddenly want to be in my life?"
I watched sternly, trying to read his every expression.

"All I want is for you to accept me and forgive me"

"Forgive you?" I lost it "Why should I do that? If you had only been this way from the beginning then what happened wouldn't have and there'd actually be nothing to forgive".

He clenched his fists but didn't even look at me,"Look son–"

"I am not your son" I enunciated "I have to go, have a nice day"
I stood up, pushing the chair back in, grabbing the remaining bottle of wine, leaving the food untouched and walked towards the door.

What a fucking waste of my time.

                             ...

  Needing something to take my mind off things...I found myself in my car driving along the lonely race track in full speed while chugging down that bottle of wine.
Although it wasn't strong enough. The thing that kept me going right now wasn't just the speed of the car but also the feeling of being on edge.
The feeling of my blood pressure rising,my heartbeat races and then this sudden tingly feeling in my limbs.
It all felt really good and comforting.
 
    I drove for 2 hours straight before going back home.

   It was past 8 Maggie had already left when I got back,I eyes landed on a Lyra who had on an apron and was basically stuffing her face with cookies before she saw me,"oh you're back..." She said mid crunch in an awkward manner,I could tell she was flustered.

   I ignored her and headed for my mini bar,I needed a lot of liquor. I could feel her eyes on me even as I was upstairs towards the balcony.
Letting out a deep sigh before filling my mouth with alcohol.