All You Need Is Love

Chapter 19

Alex

I needed her. The feel of her soft skin on my own. The sound of her breathing when I woke up before her. The taste of her mouth when we made love. My body yearned to be near hers and it was slowly killing me inch by inch, cell by cell.

I had thought, initially, that getting drunk tonight was the best idea I'd had in a while, but boy was a wrong.

My head pounded as I thought of all the things I loved and missed about Spencer.

Her lengthy brown hair that cascaded down her long goddess-like torso.

Why did I ever think I could run from her like I did. She was probably hurting so bad, I hadn't even said goodbye. What kind of person does that to someone they love? How could I ever do that to Spencer?

Spencer.

The girl that held a smile on her face even in times of utter distress. The girl who read books like there was no tomorrow. The girl who kept her head up even when she knew everything was falling apart.

Spencer.

The woman I fell in love with.

The kind of love that never stops flowing, the kind that never gives up. I realized in my state of drunkenness that although I tried to give up hope, my love for her never did. It kept spouting out of me every day as I walked the streets of my old hometown, as I flipped pancakes in a diner.

No matter how much I tried to convince myself that I could eventually live without thinking of her, in all her beautiful glory, Spencer was it for me.

So I called.

"Hello?" Her melancholy voice rung through the other end, even though she sounded weak and distressed, I still fell even more in love with her melodic voice.

I didn't say a word. Feelings of embarrassment flooded my thoughts. How could she ever forgive me. Tears brimmed my eyes and I stayed silent just wanting to hear her talk.

"Hello?" she sighed over the phone, then her breathing stopped.

"Alex? Please, please be you." She waited, and as I realized she didn't care that I'd left I sobbed into the phone.

"It's okay, baby. Alex, it's okay, I forgive you." She began to cry as well. "Just come back to me , please come back to me."

"I'm in England." I spouted out the address in a drunken manner. "I love you, Spencer. I just- I love you too much to have let you destroy your life and waste it on me."

"That isn't your choice to make for me. It's mine, and I'm coming to get you." She rushed.

"Let me talk first." I paused and so did she, so I continued, "I know that it isn't my decision alone but your future is important to me, how it turns out, what you do for yourself. What happens when someone finds out and tells everyone? Not only will your future be destroyed but so will your present. I don't want you to have to go through what you went through at your old school here. You won't get into a good college, you won't have many friends left, you won't be able to live your life. And that's important to me. You are the most important thing to me and if your reputation gets tarnished in any way because of my love for you, then I'm willing to back out.

"If you want to come to me then that is your decision, but I'm giving you a choice not to. I don't care what your choice is because I'll be okay with either. But if you come for me just know that if anything bad ever happens to you because of me, I won't be able to live with myself."

"I-" she began. but I stopped her.

"No don't speak. Don't tell me anything. I want you to think about this. Really think about it and make your decision carefully, Spencer. I love you, always."

Then I ended the call and laid down. Sobbing because of Spencer and the stench of alcohol in my room.

***

Short? Yes.

But eventful? YES

Love you to the moon & back

-Ray Xx