'You're disgusting! You are so disgusting!' I repeated in my head over and over again. 'You are so disgusting! Being in love with your sister!' She's not even my sister but I considered her as a sister, we treat each other as a REAL SISTER. 'No you dont, cause you're in love with her!' She always looks up to me and thinks I'm the best but I'm not. Behind her back, I was hurting because 'You love her Ren, but you can't have her.' She think I love her just as a sister but 'You dont.'
We we're both now in high school, she's 14 and I'm 17, I'm a senior now and she's a sophomore. My feelings for her is making me crazy, she's so beautiful and I love her so much that it kills me everytime I look at her, knowing that I can't have her and it wasn't right.
But still I wanted her, 'You cant' I wish she thinks of me more than a sister 'She doesnt' I love her so much 'She don't.' I want her to accept me 'She will be disgusted'
"Ms. Ren Constantine, are you paying attention to any of what I was saying?" Mrs. Puckett my teacher snapped me out of my reverie.
I looked up at my teacher and couldn't help but burst "Actually no, 'cause you know what? You're the most irritating and rudest person I have ever met. You always call students in front of the board to answer your stupid equations that you haven't even taught us! Only to humiliate them. You tell jokes that is so lame we had to fake a laugh so you won't gave us failing grades, do you even know that?"
Mrs. Puckett looked at me wide eyed in disbelief just like the whole class. My teacher didn't do anything to make me burst like that but I was so angry at myself and forgot how to control my anger that I released it all in her. Then the bell rang signalling the students that it was now our lunch break. I was the first one that stood up because all of my classmates are still in shock of my outburst.
I went straight to the canteen and sat alone ignoring my friends. When the whole canteen has been filled by students I can't help but to look for Gabrielle. When I saw her I felt my heart sank, she was with her boyfriend Adam. I never like that dude even though he was always been a perfect boyfriend for Gabrielle. I never liked him because he has Gabrielle and I dont.
They've been going out for about 3 months now. In that 3 months not a day had past that I did not wish for Gabrielle to be mine, for me to hold her hands, to do what he does.
Looking at them right now is not helping me at all so what I did, I stood up and went out and out the door I went outside of my school. Luckily no one saw me or I'd be in trouble for cutting school.. again. I walked for a few minutes before I felt tired and sat down on one of the bench that I found in the park.
I ran my hands through my hair thinking what I had just done. 'I'm gonna get in trouble.' Ugh. Who cares? Even if I'm always in trouble its 4 weeks till graduation anyway.
If Gabrielle knew me cutting school I know she'll be furious and will ask again and again on why I did that but really I'm not going to tell her any right reasons. I'm not going before her and say 'Because your giving me stress! Loving you can be stressful, didn't you know?'
I sighed. Loving you Gabrielle can be really stressful.
I looked up. It's such a nice day today' I thought inhaling the fresh air as I leaned back on the bench and closed my eyes.
______
I opened Gabrielle's door and saw her standing there. "Hey, sis." She said smiling at me. I can see her dimples showing that it made me smile too but then I turned serious.
"I need to tell you something." I said.
"What's that?" She said giggling.
"I'm in love with you." I said. Suddenly her whole room became dark, me seeing nothing. "Gabrielle, where are you?" I asked particularly to no one.
