I waited a little while longer for my panda to arrive. I had ordered a specific one. Thank god those pogues learned not to come back here. I heard my doorbell ring. This time it HAD to be the panda.
I went to the door and opened it. There was a huge ass box. I tipped the box over and opened the side pointing in my house. A panda ran out of the box inside my house. I WAS SO HAPPY. I named it Odessa.
A few weeks went by normally. I had gotten really close with the panda. I also worked on anything that needed to be worked on in the country. A year went by and everything was going pretty smooth until one day.... Odessa got very sick.
I laid Odessa down on the floor and stayed by her side. I thought she was dying of natural causes until I saw something poking out of her stomach. I touched the thing. It was pointy. IT STARTED MOVING AND CUTTING A HOLE THROUGH MY BABY PANDA ODESSA. She was dying. Her body went limp. I watched as a human crawled out of Odessa. I screamed in terror.
"IMMIGRANTS?!" I screamed in terror as more people started coming out of the panda.
"Aha! Stupid american! We hid in da pandas!" This dude told me in a russian accent.
"I guess you could say we took... THE PANDA EXPRESS!" One of the germans laughed. We all started laughing, until the irish one pulled a gun on me.
"Woah woah! Hold on!" I yelled with my hands in the air. "I'm sorry for bombing your country's but I had to stop WWIII! You would have done the same if you were me."
The irish dude still held the gun at me... I had to talk them out of murdering me.
"WAIT YALL I HAVE AN IDEA!!" I said, as I heard gunshots from the streets. I looked out the window and saw my citizens being shot by people coming out of pandas. "SERIOUSLY?!"
"Tell us your idea, or die!" The german threatened. "I will call the karate kid to kick your old ass!"
"Okay, okay! I'll give you guys the Bahamas and Cuba! That's all that's left besides the US. We can call it Ununited Islands."
"Uhm. That's actually not bad." The russian one replied.
"We'll call off our men." The german responded. The irish one put the gun down. In the span of a few months, the Ununited Islands were ready to be lived in. And with that, my second year had come to an end.
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The Election of 2048 (Rafe Cameron)
FanfictionI'm Rafe Cameron. I'm 45 years old. And I'm also the 66th President of the United fucking States. - Started and Finished : April 13th 2023, 9:26 pm THIS IS A MORE CHAOTIC STORY. YALL THIS IS ALL SATIRE I PROMISE. I DONT USUALLY WRITE LIKE THIS THE...
