The Darkness Inside You (Steddie)

Dead To Me

Steve knocked on the trailer door and waited. After a minute, Wayne opened it and gave him a skeptical look. He asked for Eddie and Wayne told him to wait, then closed the door. After a couple of minutes, the door opened again and Eddie stepped outside. He was squinting against the sun and didn't see Steve at first where he was leaning against his car. But when he did it was like someone hit him. He stumbled back a couple of steps but regained his composure quickly and crossed his arms defensively over his chest.

What he really wanted to do was run to Steve and jump into his arms. But he knew Steve probably wouldn't allow it, so he stood where he was. Besides, even more than he wanted to run to Steve, he also wanted to hit him and make him hurt as bad as he hurt. But he didn't do that either. He just waited for Steve to say something. He was the one who came to Eddie's door. Let him make the first move.

"Are you okay?" Eddie just shrugged. "I heard you got arrested."

"Oh, that." He made a dismissive gesture with his hand. "Spent the night in a cell, but other than that, I'm good."

"What'd you do?"

"Nothing," Eddie laughed humorlessly. "Like, literally nothing. I was just sitting in my van and Hopper assumed I was up to no good, so he searched me and found my weed." Eddie shook his head. "I hadn't even been smoking."

"Why were you sitting in your van?" He pushed off the car and took a step closer to Eddie. "Were you alone?"

"Why the fuck do you care," Eddie scoffed. Steve just stared at him. There was something in his eyes and it took Eddie a moment to place it, but then he realized what it was. "Jealous?" Steve dropped his eyes and Eddie knew he was right. He must have seen Eddie with Billy last night. "Yeah, I fucked him," Eddie sneered. "If that's what you're getting at."

"Eddie, I..."

"No," Eddie shouted. "You nothing. You walked away from me. You don't get to be jealous."

"I miss you, Eddie," Steve said quietly. He took another step closer to him. "I'm sorry." Steve gave him a pleading look.

"You'll just freak out and run away again." Eddie's voice caught in his throat. "It's not fair. You can't do that to me again." Eddie shook his head angrily. "Why are you here? Why are you suddenly in my fucking life again?"

"I was worried about you," Steve told him. "I didn't know why you'd been arrested and I was..." He sighed. "I was scared, Eddie. Scared and worried."

"Why," Eddie asked bitterly. "You looked perfectly happy with your girlfriend last night."

"Because I love you," Steve answered as he stepped directly in front of Eddie.

"Don't do this, Steve."

"I'm sorry." Steve slipped a hand behind Eddie's neck and pulled him into a kiss. It was hesitant at first, neither of them completely sure. But after a moment, Eddie slid his arms around Steve and pulled him against him. Steve whimpered into Eddie's mouth when their bodies met and everything he felt for Eddie came rushing back. He slid his hands around and cupped Eddie's ass, giving it a firm squeeze. "I need you, baby," he said against Eddie's lips.

Eddie wanted this so bad that it hurt. But he couldn't get past the things Steve had said before, the way he'd used Eddie. He hated feeling the way Steve made him feel. And if he got into this again with him, it wouldn't be any different. Steve would continue to use him and Eddie would always be his bitch. Just because Steve couldn't control or deny his urges didn't mean Eddie had to give in to him. And he had no right to expect Eddie to.

"No," Eddie gasped and pushed Steve away. "Fuck no, Steve. I'm not a fucking idiot."

"What are you talking about, Eddie?" He reached for Eddie again but Eddie sidestepped him. "What's wrong?"