lovebite.

Admit Everything

I don't know why, but I am just not taking whatever happened today very well. I didn't think I cared about Silvia kissing someone but, now I'm questioning everything. It doesn't feel right, getting all mad as fuck one night and then kissing a girl she randomly just mentioned on the lips in front of the whole grade? Yeah, totally 'true love'. Ring! Ring! I grumbled as I took my phone out of my tight pocket. "Silvia?" I shockingly said as I stared at the bold letters across the top. I declined and sat down madly and turned my ringer off.

SILVIA

Why won't that shit pick up?! I need to tell her I'm sorry. I must say, I still strongly think all of that was her fault. At least it landed me with a pretty girl. I love her and only her, but I still wanna be friends with Lucy. I can't have her be with KD and have her alone with him. Ev (my now girlfriend) stared over my shoulder, holding my waist. I got this ache of uncomfortablity, but I couldn't tell her that. It'd make her feel bad. I shut off my phone and turned my head to see her eyes and hugged her. "Babe you okay? You're shaking a little." Ev stated. I pretended as if I wasn't and laid down with her. She slept on my shoulder as I fixed up her pillow. My body twitched as if it was telling me something.

Ev woke up from her little nap and called me 'princess' as she yawned and snuggled up next to me. "Heh. You too." I said nervously. I don't like this. I don't like physical touch unless it just a hug. Just a friend hug. Not a love hug. Unless, you know. Nevermind. That doesn't make sense when I don't add better description to it. I picked up my phone as Evelyn went back to sleep. 2 Missed Calls From - Lucy⁉️🥀. "Oh. Uhm, ok I guess I'll call her back.." I muttered. I left the bedroom and leaned back on the door. 1 ring, 2, rings 5, rings, 11 rings and finally she picked up. 

I asked, "Why'd you call?"

"Why did you call before Silvia. You hate me now don't you?"

"No. I wanted to. Er. Apologise." I forced the words out of my mouth

"I swore to myself I was only giving you one chance. Besides, I'm going to Andre's soon."

"You know Andre is fak-" she hanged up. "Wimp. Too scared to face the truth." I said under my breath. I sat back down on the sheets holding one of my jumpers. I slipped it on as Ev rested on my chest. A shiver shrieked up through my body, the way her head laying down feels is just. I'm a freak. What's the point on having a significant other if you refuse to- You know what, it doesn't matter. Either way or another,  you'll always have something wrong. You will always be the idiot in the situation. So don't cry over something that you know you refuse to fix.

LUCY

Ding! A sweet soft jingle rang throughout the modern house. Out came Andre, dressed in a tank top and shorts. "Hey Bae. Lets go to my room." He held me and showed me to his room.  He's amazingly hot. He kissed my cheek and closed the door. His walls hung photos of basketball and soccer players. And there was a collection of shining trophies shelved on a small white display shelf. Another wall hung two signed jerseys, in glass covers. I stared at him as he snuck into the blanket with me. An alarm went off in my bag. "Oh, sorry I though I'd put it on silent." I snatched my phone in embarrassment and stared at the sliding words. 'Silvia 🤮❌' ... I flooded my eyes with annoyance. "Fucking- Ugh." I groaned. "You alright darl?" I turned red. As if a my blood rushed into my cheeks. He giggled and motioned me to sit next to me. My phone kept ringing. And I kept hanging up. 

* * *

Andre kissed me again as he held me close, holding my hips. I felt loved. Loved. Actual, romantic, love. The thing I've been craving for years, my whole life I supposed. It felt as if my begs had been answered. His mum was home soon, so I had to leave. He gave me one last kiss and I set off. Overjoyed, I skipped my way to the bus stop. 43 missed calls, my phone notified. I stared at in astonishment as I poured my 10c coins into the cash holder. I plugged in the earphones that I had just found stuffed in my pocket and turned on some beats. After a while of the bumpy ride home, I looked at the many voice mails specifically stacked up by Silvia. I turned them on and listened to all of them, each one like little notes asking for forgiveness or telling me about some of her problems. It ended off with:

"Please forgive me. I was selfish and an annoyance. I never tried to push you away from me, I just wanted you to try understand something you would never know or think of."