Reflections of Healing

chapter two: Finding her voice

Maggie had been working on her "transformation" for weeks. She had researched the latest fashion trends, studied makeup tutorials, and even practiced smiling in front of the mirror. Her plan was to become a different person, someone confident and outgoing, someone who would finally fit in at school.
It was a daunting task, but Maggie was determined. She spent hours every day perfecting her new look, experimenting with different hairstyles and outfits. She even joined a gym and started working out to improve her physical appearance.
As the days passed, Maggie began to notice a difference in herself. She felt more confident, more comfortable in her own skin. She smiled more often and spoke up more in conversations. She started making small talk with strangers and even struck up a conversation with the barista at her local coffee shop.

Maggie's mother couldn't care less about her daughter's wellbeing, but even she couldn't deny the transformation she was witnessing. Maggie's newfound confidence and outgoing nature caught her mother's attention, though she couldn't bring herself to show any real enthusiasm for it.

Maggie pov:

As I looked at myself in the mirror, I couldn't help but feel proud of the person staring back at me. For years, I had struggled with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, but now I was taking control of my life. I was determined to put on a facade and become the bubbly, outgoing person I had always wanted to be.
And it was working. I had straightened my hair, put on some makeup, and changed into a bright, colorful outfit. I had even started smiling more and making eye contact with people. It felt like a small victory, but it was a victory nonetheless.

I knew that putting on a facade wasn't going to solve all my problems, but it was a start. I was excited for the new school year and the possibilities it held. Maybe I could finally make some friends and leave the past behind. For the first time in a long time, I felt hopeful about the future.

I couldn't help feeling a small sense of fear as I looked at my new, colorful reflection in the mirror. As much as I wanted to believe that my new persona was the real me, I knew deep down that it was just a façade. I was worried that I might get lost in this version of myself, that I might forget who I really was. But then again, who was I really? The shy, anxious girl who had always been a target for bullies? That version of myself had never gotten me anywhere, and I was ready to leave it behind. But again... That the person I used to be, the one who was hurting and struggling, will be completely gone, as if erased from existence. But then, I remind myself that that poor version of me has so many memories, mostly bad ones but some great ones too. Memories that have shaped me into who I am today, and while I don't want to be defined by my trauma, I also don't want to forget where I've come from.

I can't help but feel like a nobody sometimes, like I'm just a background character in everyone else's lives. Maybe that's why I was an easy target for bullies. I can see why they made fun of me

Losing myself is probably for the best.