Reflections of Healing

Chapter Three: its time

Maggie pov:

I walked through the crowded hallway, trying to keep my head held high and my fake smile firmly in place. It was my first day of school, and I was determined to make a good impression.

As I walked, I caught glimpses of my reflection in the various windows and mirrors that lined the hallway. I looked different than I had before. My hair was sleek and styled, my makeup was flawless, and my clothes were bright and trendy. But despite my new look, I still felt the same old fear and insecurity creeping in.

I looked better, yet i still hate myself.
I notice every little negative detail about myself, its like im sabotaging myself.

As I walked into my first class of the day, I scanned the room for a friendly face. I was relieved when a girl with curly brown hair and dark brown eyes caught my eye and smiled warmly at me. I took a deep breath and made my way over to her.

"Hi, I'm Maggie," I said, trying to sound confident.

"I'm Ash, " she replied. "Do you want to sit next to me?"

I nodded eagerly and took the seat next to her. As the class started, Ash chatted with me about our summer vacations and shared some funny stories. I found myself laughing and feeling more at ease than I had in a long time.

Over the course of the day, I met several other friendly classmates who seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me. By the time I walked out of the school doors that afternoon, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

But as I walked home, a nagging thought crept into my mind. Was I really happy with this new version of myself? Did I really want to be friends with these people who didn't know the real me? As I passed by a group of kids who were laughing and joking around, the old feelings of inadequacy and loneliness resurfaced.

I felt a pang in my chest as I watched the group of kids. I remembered how it felt to be on the outside looking in, wanting to be part of something but never quite fitting in. And yet, here I was, intentionally trying to fit in by putting on a facade.

As I continued to walk, lost in thought, I realized that the answer was not so simple. I had spent so much time feeling invisible and unwanted that the idea of having friends was alluring. But at what cost?

I knew deep down that I didn't want to lose myself completely, but I also didn't want to go back to feeling like a nobody. It was a delicate balance, and I wasn't sure how to navigate it.

As I approached my house, I took a deep breath and tried to push the doubts and fears out of my mind. For now, I would enjoy the feeling of acceptance and belonging. But I couldn't shake the feeling that this was just the beginning of a much more complicated journey.