i became the villainess twin sister

Part 18

Roksu tapped her fingers against her desk with a thoughtful frown overtaking her handsome features. She'd been doing so for the past twenty minutes or so and the servants had replaced her tea twice before scuttling out of her presence before they made themselves a bother.

All in all, she felt quite complicated.

Despite her plans going awry, the festival itself had been quite nice. She planned to take the children with her tonight to make sure that they were able to enjoy it as well.

Choi Han had appeared to be quite pleased too, which was nice considering prince charming hadn't shown up.

That was part of the problem, wasn't it? The prince who was supposed to be absolutely enamored with Choi Han, and who could blame him, appeared to be entirely indifferent to her. Roksu was aware that she'd changed quite a bit of the plot already but she hadn't changed anything that ought to have redirected the prince's attention and aside from that, it was quite impossible to spend time with Choi Han and not become smitten with her so the prince was clearly out of his mind.

That was part of the trouble, wasn't it?

Spending any amount of time with a person as charming, sweet, innocent, and valiant as Choi Han really made it impossible not to fall for her. Even when one was aware of how absolutely terrifying Choi Han's strength was.

And Roksu could hardly deny the truth any longer.

She'd thought that she felt a natural attraction to a wonderful girl or perhaps she was just exploring her new sexuality that apparently came with this new body but that didn't appear to be the case at all.

Roksu wasn't attracted to any other lovely ladies, even when they were undoubtedly beautiful, and the attraction towards Choi Han didn't appear to be passing at all.

It only got stronger with time.

That certainly complicated matters.

It wasn't that she thought that Choi Han absolutely had to get together with the prince. Frankly speaking, so long as Choi Han was happy with her partner, Roksu didn't care who she ended up with. Besides, the prince's ongoing indifference had largely turned Roksu away from that line of thought.

But she couldn't help but remember reading just how in love Choi Han had been in the novel.

She'd been happy and fulfilled and pampered in all the ways that she ought to be.

While Roksu was no longer confident in the prince's feelings for Choi Han, she had reason to be more weary of Choi Han's feelings for him. After all, in the novel Alver had fallen quickly for the incredible woman but Choi Han had taken a bit of time to warm up to him.

When she had fallen though, it was truly touching to read how Choi Han began to experience true happiness after such a hard life. How the prince made her feel things that she'd never felt before.

As a reader, Roksu had been quite happy for Choi Han.

As Choi Han's friend, Roksu wanted her to have all of the happiness that she deserved.

As a person, Roksu was beginning to lose a certain amount of perspective.

It was the way that Choi Han smiled at her so sweetly. The dependable way that she was always by her side. The gentle but firm support from a woman who'd managed to retain such a loving heart despite all the hardship she had endured.

Choi Han was amazing.

Anyone should feel lucky to have her attention.

Roksu didn't want to take away Choi Han's happiness. And there was also the issue that while Roksu had no trouble feeling attraction to another woman, so far as the novel had portrayed her, Choi Han was likely straight.

Her fingers drummed against the wood and met with scales.

"What's wrong?"

Roksu looked down into the wide blue eyes of the four year old child. Despite his vicious streak, the black dragon was quite kind as well. Roksu's lips twitched upwards. She kept getting surrounded by such kind people. It was becoming a problem.

"I'm thinking about what to eat for dinner tonight." Roksu lied lazily, leaning back in her chair.

"You're lying." The black dragon replied, his chubby face contorting into a pout over the dishonesty and his eyes narrowing.

Ah, it wasn't a good idea to lie to the black dragon. He already had plenty of warranted trust issues with humans. It wasn't any good to give him more.

"I am." Roksu admitted, giving the black dragon's head a pat. "You're quite perceptive. Truly a great and smart dragon."

The black dragon puffed out his chest proudly. "That's right. You shouldn't lie to me." He said, huffing out a prideful breath and looking quite cute.

"I'm sorry. I won't do it again." Roksu considered if creative ways of avoiding lying would be counted as an untruth by the sensitive dragon. Best not to find out.

"So? Are you going to tell me?"

Roksu considered it. Talking about her dismal love life with such a young child felt a bit irresponsible to her and besides, it was fairly important that she kept her feelings under wraps. If Choi Han knew how she felt, she might become uncomfortable around Roksu.

That thought was dreadful enough to lower her mood further.

"Not today." Roks said, softly petting the black dragon's head again. "I'm not ready to talk about it quite yet."

Roksu wondered if she'd ever be ready to talk about it. She'd rather just die with the shameful secret so that she didn't cause even more trouble for Choi Han.

She wanted Choi Han to be happy. More than anything else.

The black dragon frowned but accepted her answer with a nod. He also had things he wasn't ready to talk about. The black dragon rested on her desk, allowing Roksu's hand to gently pet him until he started to feel sleepy.

Roksu watched the dragon drift off. It was better like this. She had valuable people around her that she cared about dearly. Getting greedy and attempting to win Choi Han's heart was sure to only cause trouble.

She glanced up when she heard the door open and her pulse picked up at the sight of the swordswoman.

Choi Han approached quietly, clearly not wanting to wake the black dragon up. She pointed and mouthed lunch? at the pair. Considering the time, it was certainly past the time that she should eat and the children needed to be fed too.

It was nice to have Choi Han remind her. Roksu sometimes became consumed with her work.

Choi Han also looked ridiculously adorable while asking.

Damn.

This would be so much less complicated if Choi Han wasn't so lovable.

Roksu nodded, expertly hiding the way her affectionate feelings only seemed to grow.

An unrequited love might as well not exist at all.