Kindred Spirits {Edward Cullen x Male! Oc}

Chapter 05: First Conversation

Journal Entry #87

Meeting up with Bella and Uncle Charlie was exactly what I needed. She's just so easy to talk to and be around. He seems like the kind of dad that I wouldn't mind having. Sure he's pretty introverted, but that's why I like him. He doesn't force a conversation or a smile. I'm sure Sammy would have loved to meet them as well. 

Today marks four complete months since that night. Blaine says I'm coping pretty well... I don't want to let him down. If I'm to be truly honest, then I'm not okay in any way, shape, or form. I don't want to cry for help that can't be given. But I'm getting so exhausted from pretending so well. I don't even know how I'm still here with the grief always getting the better of me. If you took even a slight glance inside my mind, you'd find the reasons and perpetrator for all of the blame. I feel like I'm drowning all over again with no chance of survival. Or more accurately, I'm walking a tight rope. If I'm to fall, I know there'd be no hope for rehabilitation.

Sammy, I'm so sorry... I'm so incredibly sorry I couldn't save you. If I had the chance to change anything, I'd switch places with you in a heartbeat. You knew everything I didn't. You were the one that should have made it out. You had the ability to describe in detail how the sky bends in the moments before it's about to fall. You saw the world for how it was, not for how you wanted it to be. You were my everything.

I can't believe you're gone forever. I'm so sorry. I know it's my fault and that I can't fix it. Please forgive me. Because I can't find a way to forgive myself...

Jayden looked away from his journal with hardened eyes and a strong sense of resolve. He'd try and ease away from his pain and make friends that aren't related to him. He knew that would be what Sam would have wanted for him. He wouldn't want him to self-isolate and alienate himself. He'd want him to be happy. The only problem was that he didn't want to.

All he wanted to do was mellow in the grief; stew until there was nothing left. He knew that if he risked opening his heart again, he'd risk the inevitable chance of getting hurt again. But he had to try any way. Such as life is.

The walk to school was a familiarly silent one. He felt submerged deeply within his thoughts as he mulled over what he'd like to do in his friend making plan. Jayden was never one to put himself out there. He was a chronic introvert from birth. But now it felt like this was his duty, in honor of Sam.

When he walked on campus and through the parking lot, he could only think of dealing with class and kids. He wanted to procrastinate for as long as possible. Such is his nature. Seeing as school hadn't started just yet, Jayden quickly made his way to the library in an attempt at avoiding social situations for the time being.

Walking into the silently warm reading areas, he immediately sat at the least visible table and began writing a new song to play on his guitar. It was going well, until he felt someone watching him that is. 

Raising his focused gaze, he found one of the strange pale kids sitting only two tables away. The boy didn't lower his own gaze after being caught looking. He simply watched, as if Jayden had the key to every secret that mattered. To Edward, this young human was an enigma with no hope of understanding. The fact he still couldn't hear this boy's mind only drew him nearer. His undeniable wisdom through experience only intensified the appealing magnetism he unknowingly exuded. Even after such a short time of being in town, most everyone already adored and respected him.

After a long moment of simply analyzing each other, Jayden sighed heavily as he kept his own intrigue at bay. He refused to get close to anyone just to lose them, too. But there was just something about this unusual bronze haired boy. Something he just couldn't place.

Going back to his song writing, Jayden decided to pay him no mind. It went on like this for what felt like an eternity, but in actuality was only five minutes or so. Not even when the strange boy sat across from him, he did not waver. "What are you working so hard on?" Edward then asked awkwardly, desperate to know what was going through his mind in that very moment.

Jayden finally paused and looked up to meet his golden gaze. "A new song. I figured it was time to give it a go again." he answered honestly, then went back to work.

With a nod of his head, Edward felt his desperate curiosity increase with each passing moment of silence. "My name's Edward Cullen. You're new here."

He shrugged, "Ten out of ten on observation skills." he sassed sarcastically. Before he could go any further, however, he gave up and decided to be cordial to the best of his ability. "I'm Jayden Royal. Nice to meet you."

Edward felt completely taken aback by his nonchalant reaction to his presence. Normally humans would cringe away out of subconscious fear for survival. Normally humans would feel attracted and intimidated all in one. But Jayden? He seemed bored, or bothered. He was a walking puzzle that subtly beckoned him to piece together. "How are you liking Forks?"

Jayden thought about his answer carefully. "I think it's better than I expected. Not really sure where I fit in exactly. Not really sure if I want to fit in at all."

Silence passed between them as he wrote in the last few notes. "You can hang out with me until you figure it out; if you want, of course."

The human sir's eyes snapped back up to his; this time with surprised confusion. "Really? That'd be pretty cool of you. Most of the other guys here are either too immature, and I mean stupid, or too self-absorbed." he elaborated.

With an amused grin, Edward nodded in agreement. "I have to agree with you there." retaining his immense and sudden nervousness, he then decided to make friends properly. "So, I was wondering--"

"There you are, Jay-bear! I've been looking all over for you." they suddenly heard Jessica say as she entered the library. Her annoying voice sliced through the comfortable atmosphere like a serrated blade. When she noticed Edward sitting across from her newest obsession, she felt surprised. Feeling intimidated by him entirely, she made sure to keep her eyes on the boy her interests surrounded. "So, as you know, there's a girl's choice dance coming up and you're the lucky winner. You can pick me up at my house between five and six."

Jayden quirked an eyebrow with annoyance beginning to course through his system. "I'm cool with not doing that. But thanks, I guess?"

Jessica felt her stomach drop and defensive anger took over. "I only asked because I felt sorry for you, you know. No wonder you don't have any friends. You're too stupid to see who's right in front of you." she sneered hatefully and with immense embarrassment. 

As she stalked away and out of the library, Jayden watched her go with indifference. "Even if I was into girls, her ass is flatter than a crêpe." he muttered to himself as he put a title to his song.

Edward couldn't stop his laughter at the unexpected insult. "If you don't mind my asking, what's your new song about?"

With a moment's worth of consideration, Jayden shrugged once more. "I could play it for you some time. But, I have to warn you, I'm not that good." Before another word could be spoken, the bell rang to signify the start of the day. He got to his feet as he put his song into his bag. "Guess I'll see you around, Edward Cullen." then walked away without looking back.

Edward watched him go with a soft smile in place. "See you around, Jayden Royal." He then stood and absentmindedly headed to his class as well.