His Forever

6

'That night still haunts me, no matter how many times I try to push it out of my mind; the thoughts, the touch the feel, the smell, everything is still so alive and it hurts so much inside.'

Flashback

"Papà! Papà! Papà!", I screamed, running into the bathroom to find my papa with a razor in his hand. His wrist had a giant cut on it and blood was gushing out at an alarming rate.

"M-Matteo", he stuttered out before his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he dropped down onto the floor.

"Help! Please someone help! Papa, p-please don't leave m-me!", I cried, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around the wound.

I don't remember how long I was sitting there for, but eventually the bleeding had stopped and he began to wake up.

I managed to make it up to my room before I collapsed onto the floor. The room began to feel as if it was closing itself on me and I couldn't breathe.

I looked around the room and tried to name things I could see in attempt to ground myself, but it wasn't working. It hadn't worked for a while now but I didn't know what else I could do apart from wait it out.

I was feeling faint, sweat was forming on my forehead and I felt suffocated. I managed to take my t-shirt off in attempt to cool myself down and I placed my hands on my ears to try and stop the noises.

It was like I was underwater and I couldn't swim my way up; no one was there to help me.

I was all alone.

'Please be careful with me. Sometimes I just get sad and I don't know why. I'm sorry.'

Blinking back tears, I decided to quickly wash up before heading out of the kitchen to find Mr De Campo.

I felt nervous as I walked down the corridor, not knowing what to say when I see him.

Do I apologise? Do I pretend that it didn't happen? Do I talk to him about it?

This morning went so well and now we're back to square one.

I didn't even notice I wasn't alone until I looked up and saw Charles in front of me.

"Is everything okay Mr Rossi?", he asked, looked slightly concerned.

"Y-Yes, everything is fine. I'm just feeling a little homesick", I partly lied. I did feel homesick, but that wasn't the main reason I was feeling down. "Do you know where Mr De Campo is?", I asked quietly, wanting to make amends before we begin working.

"He had some important business to attend to but he told me to inform you he will be back for dinner. He also told me to tell you that you're welcome to work in the home office today if you don't wish to go into the main office", he replied.

He left? Did I make him that uncomfortable?

I bit my lip to stop myself from tearing up before quietly telling him I would be working from here today.

He offered to lead me there but I told him I remembered where it was. After quickly going upstairs and grabbing my laptop, I closed the door and headed downstairs to the office.

It felt empty compared to yesterday. Nothing had changed but yet it felt as if everything had. I felt uncomfortable being in here and I didn't like it.

I couldn't help the few tears that rolled down my cheeks before wiping them and telling myself to man up.

I hated that about myself. Always being overly sensitive. Always crying when I'm frustrated or sad. It would be one of the many things I would change about myself if I could.

When I was younger, I always wanted to be like my papà and my older brother. I tried so hard to hide my emotions, to act like I was so strong that nothing affected me, but that's not who I was.

My mamma always says she loves how much emotion I show. She loves how I'm not afraid to show what I'm feeling and calls me brave for it but I'm not.

Shaking away those thoughts, I plugged my laptop in to connect it to the main screen and began decoding.

I didn't realise how encrypted it was until I cracked into the phone and saw hundreds of coded files. It would take a while to hack but I knew I could do it.

I didn't realise how long I was working for until I checked the time and saw that it was nine pm.

Sighing, I closed my laptop and put it back into my backpack, shutting of the screen and tidying the desk up.

Not feeling too hungry, I decided to go straight upstairs to bed.

My eyes burned slightly from looking at the screen for too long and the material of my hoodie was starting to annoy me.

I changed into a black t-shirt and joggers before going onto my bed and sitting against the headboard.

Grabbing my phone, I turned it on and saw dozens off missed calls flooding the home screen.

"Gio! Grazie a Dio! (Thank God!) We we're all so worried! W-Why weren't you picking u-up your phone!", Lily said on the other end of the phone. I could hear my older brother in the background telling mamma that I had finally answered.

"I'm sorry I didn't pick up sooner, I was so busy with work that I didn't turn my phone on until now", I said guiltily, not realising how worried they would be.

"It's fine, you're fine, sì?", Luciano asked.

"I-I'm fine", I lied, not wanting to make them even more stressed out.

"Matteo's not done anything right? I don't have to come and beat him up for saying anything to my little brother, do I?", he threatened.

My eyes teared up and I took a breath before telling him that everything's been fine and he's been good to work with.

After reassuring everyone was everything was fine, they said their goodbyes and ended the call.

Just as I was about to brush my teeth and tuck up into bed, there was a knock at the door.

Confused at who it could be at this time, I quickly ran to open it.

"I believe we had dinner plans."