The Lost Hope

Chapter 2 : The Truth Hurts

Where is he? I asked curiously with a hint of seriousness. She tried to skip past the conversation we~ I've been trying to have. We argue back and forth, screaming, to hurtful words, to the truth of the matter. She screamed " I DONTTTTTT ANYMOREEE" I stop mid way with silence first then the shock of tears hit my new shirt from Target. " What do mean you don't know? He's not dead, is he? Something happened with me ? Am I the reason he's not here?". I started crying so hard that couldn't talk or breathe properly. She calm down hurriedly walked to me some tissues and hugged me tightly . Told me " It was never was your fault, he was just a huge jack-ass. Who wasn't ready to step to the plate to love and care for you like I do". I didn't know what to fell at that point, was it really me? Was I the problem for him leaving me? "I don't think ready to hear the full reason of leaving us" After I said that my tear's dried up and I dashed to my room. I heard my mother saying stop but I was so heartbroken in the side couldn't process how I was fully feeling. She never wanted to feel like this about him but I just wanna know why? Why leave me? Why leave like i was nothing? I am nothing to you or am I just not enough for you? My heart was beating so fast that I was stressing myself too much. I couldn't go to sleep without having those thoughts in my head. What did I do to the deserve this ? I bet everyone fatherless child asked the same question. Why leave when I'm gonna need you the most, it's not fair I thought. I talk to myself for hours and hours listening to BTS and some other artists that make me feel better. I always dreamed of meeting BTS because their music help me in a way. Helped me get through life struggles but maybe this is gonna harder to get through. I can't stop my tears from coming down, it felt unbearable to the point I screamed so loud my mother came running. My door was locked so she told to open to see if could help but i wasn't listening. I keep saying WHY WHY WHY WHYYYYY MEEE???? I kept crying to the point my body weak so I slow walked to door because I was slowly becoming sleepy but it seemed forced. I got the door just in time because i dropped down on my head and my mom called the ambulance and i was hospitalize. I woke days later, to my mom with tears from days ago, pain in her shows, i can feel it, and I see it. I don't understand how it happened but I understood fastly that I blacked out. Without a doubt I was about to cry again but my mother begged me to don't. She said " Please don't! Please don't shed a another tear for someone who didn't shed one for you". I looked her, trying to keep it together asking for the first time ever since she told me" Are you ok?" My mom looked away from me to herself together i told that you should cry by yourself when we're both going through it together. It's not fair for you to go through by yourself when it mine pain too. Your mine mom and I'm your daughter , let's help each other move on together baby steps first. I was 10 years old then when she told me that but boy did I know what was coming next. I would have prepared myself for the things better.

TO BE CONTIUE....

Thanks for reading y'all i need feed back this story because i need to see how y'all feel.  Now I don't know y'all feel right now but Suga from BTS is coming out with a music video for part two of "Daechwita"!!! I'm excited thoooo and another Rest in Peace for Moon Bin.