labour

264

warning: this story contains details of domestic vïolence and emotional trauma, please look after yourself and do not read if any of this may affect you <3

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caroline's pov

I don't recall falling asleep, nor do I recall Xander joining me. I tried to stay awake, I truly did, for maybe if I didn't sleep, the morning would never come.

Yet, It did.

I'd dreamt up a concerning assortment of imagery. First footsteps, then rummaging, and then a voice repeating "Page 264." The meaning lost on me but the impact evident on my under eyes.

I was walking a tightrope of feeling no emotion and every emotion at once, my rotten and bitter heart craving anything to revive it.

"Miss, you really must be getting ready now, the horses will be set in an hour." Solace reminded me
half-hourly like she had done for the last 2 hours.

My tears had long dried and I'd felt almost nothing whilst thinking of the horses that would take me back to the life I'd lived for four years, the one I would continue to live indefinitely.

"I will be there Sol, don't worry about me." I shot her a small smile hoping to momentarily reassure her despite my own uncertainty. I would miss her company massively, maybe if I did not move, goodbye would never have to be said.

"I know, Miss, I'll leave you to prepare now."

And I was alone once more, Xander off 'preparing for our departure' and probably charming the young Narnian's at the same time.

I sat deep within my own thoughts for a while, memories of sword fights and flower picking breathing life into me once more. Oh how I loved Cair Paravel.

The people, the surroundings, the music. It was all so beautifully real and comforting. The kings and queens grew to be my friends, friends that I would never see again and yet never forget.

Somehow, I'd just about made it to the entrance where we would be departing from before my husband took off without me, maybe I should've let him.

It was time.

I began with Peter, the easiest of farewells as interaction was few and far between with us. His expression was hard to read, as his brows furrowed with seeming concern and his lips sat straight. A thank you and a gentle nod was still in order despite his behaviour.

Susan was next. I would forever treasure the lessons I learnt from her. Softness is a virtue that I will make a note to maintain within myself going forward. I wished her luck with her pursuit of Thomas and was met with a disgusted look.
"You were right, he's not for me."

Lucy. She was a true Valiant, always looking for the good in everyone around her. Although at first I believed that her to be naive, actually she can sense good from bad and still treat them with kindness anyway. She is not dumb, she is just an angel. The only Pevensie that I hugged and one that I would think of incredibly often.

My goodbyes to the King and Queens were interrupted by a cold hand reaching out to me, holding something familiar.

"I found this, I believe it belongs to you." He spoke.

Edmund.

In his grip was my journal, on his face sat a genuine smile.

"I didn't read it, well, not all of it." He mocked with a sly grin and cheeky laugh. My lips could not fight the tugging on their corners, pulling them into a small smile.

He grew on me truly. Although I'm unsure what to label the strange feeling inside me, it wasn't bad. He was the Just, but he was a lot more complex than just mischief and pranks. He helped me, kept my secrets, looked at me like nobody ever had.

"Thank you, for everything."

Those would be the last words that I would say to the Pevensie before being ushered onto my designated steed by my husband, himself being eager to return to Archenland as soon as he could.

As we rode, we watched as the Narnian's waved us off, their hospitality and kind nature allowing me to leave feeling almost refreshed, even though nothing had truly changed.

We visited Lune as soon as we arrived, his condition was astonishing considering his state over a week ago. Xander gifted him some flowers and fixed him a drink as the King was officially announced fit enough to return to the throne, at the relief of the inhabitants of Archenland. Not many in the kingdom appreciated my husband stepping in as their ruler. Actually, most secretly despised him, nicknaming him the 'barbarian king'.

And of course I was the one to receive the brunt of my husbands bruised ego.

As I sat in bed that night, a voice repeatedly reminded me of a number, drilling it into my skull and implanting itself in my brain. In an attempt to block out the sound and write once more, I opened my journal to the last entry, my eyes landing on a note in a handwriting that I hadn't recognised.

"C,

2 days at dusk.
Myself and P are coming.
Meet on the Archen hill.
X will be stopped.

-E"

Sure enough, it was on page 264.

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