Jisungs POV
Most kids these days have messy rooms and dont go outside much, I was one of them . My grandparents think its because I'm lazy and unhygienic, that is not true. My grandparents cant come to terms with the fact that I'm too tired and exhausted to socialise and have no motivation to clean up or even get up for that matter. They tend to think that theyre the cause of every problem, ever fight, every obstacle that occurs. But if my grandparents were in my shoes they would do the same thing, lock themselves away and forget about being social or having a social life.
My grandparents need to think before accusing me of being lazy and maybe think for a bit about what I've been through. I lost my parents at the young age of eleven as well as any will to live, I have three friends. Trust issues, self harm and overthinking. They've always been there, like a fucking parasite.
I'm tired, I'm tired of trying my hardest to be perfect for people I dont even want to talk to. I'm tired of school. I'm tired of people. I'm tired of existing. No one would ever get it , no one knows the real me. no one knew it was all an act , my smile, my bubbly attitude. I didn't even know me, how do I expect anyone to understand me?
The loneliness came back worse than I remembered, but along with it came panic attacks and depression. So I just lay here most days unless I was forced out to go to school like today.
To be honest I was ready to delete everything and disappear.
I want to disappear.
Minhos pov
I know him, but he doesn't know me. I want him to know me, but I know he wants nothing to do with me or anyone for that matter.
I know he cuts himself , I know he cries himself to sleep every night, I know hes lost everything he loves I know everything. I know every because he used to love me the way I still love him, I just didn't love him back until it was to late.
I miss you so much jisung, it's been 345 days since our last text message to eachother and 459 days since our last face to face conversation. I'm crashing , I cant live without him and i can't fall out of love with him...I've tried.
Its impossible, hes got a hold on my heart .
He owns my heart
