Jisungs pov
" ji" minho hummed as I cuddled into his side " I know its probably a really insensitive question...but google wont tell me shit and I'm curious. Why do people cut themselves?"
" well...its like, if you're falling to your death and the only thing you can hold onto is a branch, it's going to leave splinters and maybe even scars but you dont care because in that moment you want to survive. Self harm is like that, at the time you're trying to not let go and fall . You dont care about the scars it gives , just thinking about how to relieve the unbearable pain of the mind at that moment " I explained
" oh..." he nodded " so" he began caressing my hair " it's not because they're trying to loose enough blood that they'll die?"
" I mean , in some situations it can be. But for me it's the first one most of the time, sometimes it is the second one." I replied
" hm" he hummed " thank you, I didn't expect you to be so open about that."
" you want to know more , who am I to turn it down." I nuzzled my face further into his side.
" I'm sorry" he sniffled, I looked up noticing his eyes watering
" for?"
" letting you get this bad" he rubbed my back with one hand " I'm so sorry I cant help you because I fail to understand shit, and for letting you relapse. Before I left you said you were getting better and I just ditched you"
" minnie. I never relapsed ,I never stopped , I just said it to make you feel better" i sat up and situated myself on his waist, wiping the tears off of his cheeks " these sheets are tear stained enough, dont cry....its not your fault"
" it feels like it " he sobbed
" min, it's my stupid fault for starting self harm....once you start it's like an addiction " I cupped his cheeks " it's my fault not yours"
" dont blame yourself, I'm a bad friend I should've been there for you" he shook his head "come here" he opened his arms up pulling me downwards into his chest " I'm sorry "
" dont be" I replied , allowing him to hug me as tightly as he wished
" how do you feel right now?" He asked
" well, I did feel fucking exhausted with no energy to keep going but being with you makes me forget all about that " I hummed " you might of left me for a bit, buts it's ok. Dont beat yourself up about it, you did what you thought was right at the time. I'm just happy you're here now."
" are you sure?" He allowed me to sit back up
" I'm sure" I chuckled " calm down, am I gonna have to love you back to happiness?"
He gasped " no! I only get to do that young man . The audacity. Thats mu job!" He crossed his arms
" you're such a big baby" I snickered
" no I'm not " he replied " you're the baby here"
" how so?"
" because I can pick you up and rock you like a little baby" he smiled smugly
I rolled my eyes " alright you win" I sighed
" perfect, now cuddle me baby!" He laughed
I couldn't help but blush at the look on his face. his smile gleaming , his bunny teeth adding charm to it, his eyes scrunching up and his cheeks pinkening
I laid down and resumed cuddling him, I love him so much. Hes the most caring man alive.
