Chapter 25

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"Claire get up!" Top's voice shouts at me, pulling me from my sleep.

I crack my eyes open slowly, not surprised to find myself on the couch, an empty ice cream container next to my head and a pile of used tissues on the floor. I must have passed out last night while binging the Twilight movies for comfort.

"Hello? Claire?"

I look up and see Top waving his hand aggressively in front of my face.

"What do you want Top?" I groan, rolling over and pressing my face into the couch.

"Claire you have to get up right now. I have really bad news to tell you and I want you to fully brace yourself for it. It's about Rafe." Top says, his voice taking on an almost sad and dark tone on the last part.

All of the blood in my body freezes at the sound of his name and I sit up quickly and face Top.

"If it has to do with him I don't care. I'm trying to forget about him and I need you to respect that and leave me out of whatever's happening," I tell him, standing up from the couch and walking away towards the stairs to go take a shower and clean myself up.

As I take my first step, Top yells to me from the living room, "Claire, Rafe's in the hospital in critical condition. The doctor's don't think he's going to make it."

I immediately stop and my body goes so still I think my heart even ceases beating.

"Claire?" Top asks, walking around the corner. He sees me standing there and approaches me carefully.

"Claire, did you hear me? Say something."

I can barely even process the words coming out of his mouth. There's only one thing running through my head right now. It's all my fault. It's all my fault. If I wouldn't have ended things last night this wouldn't have happened.

"Claire!" Topper yells, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me aggressively, "Snap out of it! Say something!"

I turn around and look him in the eyes before taking a deep breath and asking, "How?"

"How what?"

"How did it happen?" I clarify.

"Ward said the cops told him it was a biking accident. He was high off his mind on something and he got hit by a truck." Topper tells me softly.  I can hear the pain in his voice. Although he ended his friendship with Rafe, I could tell he still cared about him a lot.

I take a deep breath and turn around to go back up the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Topper asks with a confused look on his face.

"I'm going to go get changed and then we're going to go see Rafe. Neither of us may have been on very good terms with him but we both know we still care about him, and if not you, at least I know for a fact I do. And you're coming with me."

Topper sits there for a second silently before nodding. "Alright I'll grab my keys. I'll be waiting in the car."

I run up the stairs, keeping the tears at bay until I finally shut the door behind me and the dam breaks. Tears immediately flow from my eyes and I slide down the door, onto the floor as silent sobs rack through my body.

This couldn't be happening. I still love him. As much as I  can try to convince myself otherwise, I know I do. We were gonna stay upset with each other for a while. He was going to make fruitless attempts at getting me back. We were going to get into arguments that would end with us making up and getting along. I was going to give him another chance and he was going to prove to me that he really loved me. What am I going to do now? What am I going to do without him?

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