First Frost (ONC 2023 Novella, MxM Paranormal)

13: Cold Shower

I stare at the image in front of me, unsure of what to say or do. My body shivers, as if I've just stepped into a cold shower. The sky outside darkens, heavy with storm clouds. Soon, they will burst, burying our hometown in piles of white debris.

I can make it happen. I can sense the connection at my fingertips, tingling as the warmth of the apartment thaws the frozen skin.

"So are you..." I mumble, unable to speak reality into existence. "I mean, you and Anton are—"

Sofia's hand lands on mine, tempering the oncoming blast of cold. "Yes," she confirms. "And I'm keeping it." Her tone is decisive, without any sign of wavering. It seems that she's thought this through, despite the lack of time to do so. "I've always wanted children, and I know my mom struggled for years to conceive. I'm glad I have a choice but I know what choice I'm making."

"And Anton?" I ask, inhaling in an attempt to control the whirling thoughts in my head. Everything I hoped for is uprooted and in flux.

"He can make his own choice," Sofia replies. "That's what I told him. I'm not going to force him into anything. And as much as it hurts, I'm glad he told me his secret first, because otherwise, he may not have told me at all. We would have lived a lie forever."

"So what did he say in response to that?"

"Anton didn't say anything." Sofia sighs, taking a sip of her by now probably cold tea. "He rushed out the door, mumbling something about needing to talk to you. He appeared overwhelmed by everything."

"I guess we're all overwhelmed," I mumble, reaching for Sofia's hand. My fingers must be cold but she doesn't recoil when I tap the back of it lightly. "How are you doing? This must be a lot for you to take in as well."

She gives me a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. "I'm fine," she assures me. "I mean, not really, but I will be. Thank you for asking, Joakim."

"I guess it's a bit weird that I'm the one who's here, holding your hand."

She turns her hand below mine, so our hands meet in a firm grip. "I'm glad you're here," she assures me, picking up the ultrasound image with her other hand. A hint of smile glistens in her eyes as she gazes upon it.

"I should go find Anton though." I look toward the whirling winds outside. Hopefully, Anton is safe out there. "I'll talk to him. I'll make sure he doesn't just... bail on you."

Sofia smiles again. "That's not on you, Joakim. He can make whatever choice he feel is right for him."

I want to believe Anton wouldn't just walk out on someone who needs him. That is not the Anton I know. That is not the Anton I... fell in love with.

A gust of heavy wind hits the window, making the glass bristle from the force. Cascades of snow flutter by outside, making it appear as if we're in the middle of a blender filled with yogurt.

"I hope he's alright out there." Sofia looks with concern toward the window.

"I'll find him," I promise, once again rising from the couch. "I got my sister's car, so I should be able to get back to Stockholm quickly. Hopefully, he's there, waiting for me."

"Should you really drive in this?"

I can understand why that may not sound like a wise idea. But being wise went out the window long ago, together with common sense and logic.

"I'll be fine," I assure her. "I'm a"—I can't say frost sprite because I don't want to get locked in for madness, so I go with—"Meteorology student. I know my way around snow."

Sofia doesn't look convinced but she doesn't attempt to stop me from leaving either. "Just be careful, Joakim," she calls out before I hurry out the door.

Everything whirls. The snow. My thoughts. The world. The storm roars loudly in my ears, calling for me to become part of it.