First Frost (ONC 2023 Novella, MxM Paranormal)

14: Frost Giant

The sky is dark. I'm not sure if it's from the clouds or because of the hour. This day has passed in a blur, without me taking the time to even look at the clock.

16.03. That's what the orange glowing numbers on the car dashboard say. So, assuming that Ida has changed the clock to daylight savings time, it's midafternoon. Which is about the time when darkness starts to fall in Sweden this time a year. Sometimes, when busy with lectures all day, I barely see the sun at all.

The storm still roars, dragging with it strokes of snow across the asphalt on the highway. I can barely see where I'm driving in the darkness. Only the closest 20 meters or so in front of the car are visible.

I have to believe the storm won't hurt me, otherwise, I wouldn't dare to be out here. And I have to brave the elements to get to Anton.

But regardless of what he feels, maybe we can never be. I can't be the one preventing a happy family from being together. I can't destroy the life of a child yet to be born.

Sofia may think she doesn't want Anton anymore but maybe it's not too late.

If only I disappeared.

Because I'm the problem. If it wasn't for me, they would exist in joyful bliss, planning the arrival of their child.

Warm tears heat my frozen cheeks, blurring my already hazy vision of the road.

That's when I hear it. A name in the wind. "Jokul," it calls in a deep tone that makes chills travel down my spine. "Jokul. Come to me!"

It's calling for me, or at least for my ancestor. I suppose I am him now anyway. I am the frosty roses on windows at dawn and the cold bite on children's cheeks when they step outside in the morning.

"JOKUL!" the wind calls again, louder and more commanding. "Where are you?"

Unable to focus on the blurry road in front of me, I pull over. I need to gather myself before I can continue. With the snow whirling outside the windows, it feels like no one but I exist in this world. There is only me and the snow. It's all there ever will be.

As claustrophobia hits me, I feel a pressing urge to exit the vehicle. I need to breathe the cold air of the outside. I need to know that the world is bigger than I can see.

Blistering winds stab at my face as I disembark. Oxygen fills my lungs. All around me are fields covered in a thick white blanket of cold. Trees sway precariously in the distance.

Beyond the trees, there is movement. At first, I assume it was just the wind, making the world sway under its spell. But as I look closer, peering through the curtain of snowflakes, I can discern shapes similar to limbs. Giant limbs. Legs the height of trees and hands bigger than the car beside me.

"Jokul," it calls for me. Because I realize now that whatever is out there is what is beckoning for my presence.

Unable to deny the call, I step on the field. Snow pour into my shoes as I trod the frozen sheet of white. But the cold doesn't bother me. My skin doesn't sting from its touch anymore. Rather, it seems to soothe and erase all confusing thoughts from my mind.

They say that the last stages of hypothermia make you delirious. People have been known to throw their clothes off despite freezing degrees, before perishing to the elements. The ones who survive tell of mirages appearing in front of their eyes.

Perhaps that's what is happening to me. The thought does register before the call of a name forgotten to time is once again called, making me forget everything to escape into the safe embrace of the cold.

I find myself standing in a thick mist of snow, glittering like a million rhinestones. The beauty is out of this world. And maybe that's where I am now: in another world where giants roam and frost covers the Northern lands.

"Jokul," I hear again. This time, the voice is softer. Whoever is calling has seen me. "Come with me."

An enormous body made of ice unfolds in the snowy fog. I know who it is despite never meeting him before. Forn, the frost giant who wants to rule these lands. The enemy my ancestor quelled.

But just like my grandfather foretold, he's still lurking in the icy shadows.

As if in trance, I follow. My numb legs move through the snow without a conscious effort on my part. It's as if the frost sprite within me is taking over and acting on its own accord. It wants to become one with the frozen landscape around me.

"Together, we can rule these lands for eternity," the voice is the storm promises.

My heretofore unknown side wants to take the offer. It wants to turn everything to snow. It wants to bring in a new ice age. It wants to detach itself from everything that is human.

My human side is numb. It can't fight against the elements. What is there to fight for anyway? Everyone would be better off without me. Anton and Sofia could be happy together as they deserve to be. Their child would grow up in a picture-perfect family.

A picture-perfect family surrounded by endless snow...

I stop in my tracks, suddenly in control of my legs. Because I realize what I'm doing. I'm condemning them all if I walk forward.

Anton. Sofia. Their child. Ida. My niece and nephew. They would all live in a world filled with frost. If they would even live at all. The children would never experience the joy of a glowing spring day, after months of snowfall.

Frost bites my knuckles as I pull off my gloves. Ignoring the stinging cold, I put my hands into the snow, sensing it obliging my command. With a common purpose, my two sides are strong together.

"No!" I yell, allowing a wave of snow to push forward toward the giant. A roar of thunder rings across the field. The rolling tide drowns the whole world in glittering frost, pushing the giant back to his own realm. A scream shakes the cold air before he disappears.

I waste no time checking that he's actually gone before running back toward the car. This may all be part of a frostbitten delusion but the cold is definitely real. It tingles in my skin and aches in my limbs.

Luckily, the car door opens despite the cold. I find a few blankets that Ida has piled in the backseat, probably to warm complaining children, and wrap myself in them while also turning on the heat on full blast. After locating a package of raisins in my pocket, I pour the content into my mouth for some energy, since my frozen fingers won't cooperate.

I need to leave before the giant returns. I need to find Anton. Because I know that what saved Jokul in the saga is the only thing that can save me as well. Maybe next time I won't be able to resist the allure of frosty power.