□♡I'm here to pull you out of the dark♡□

chapter 2

Over the course of the next few weeks I started to get more comfortable with the idea of living with Sophia but the comfort quickly got interrupted by new changes I noticed with me, it wasn't the kind of change you notice when something is going right, it was physical changes that were happening to me. I threw up most days of the week only in the mornings and my body felt so strange, i tried hiding it at first but Sophia was a smart woman, she knew something was wrong.

"Diana I know something is going on with you, I understand if you don't feel comfortable talking about it but I'm noticing physical changes with you and I'm getting worried." Sophia said to me one day while i was ducking in the room she set up for me.

"I was just scared to tell you because I'm scared that if I'm right about what's wrong that il get dumped off back there again." I said my voice slightly starting to tremble.

"Listen Diana I would never cast you away like that, you don't ever have to worry about that again, now I'm here for you now, so tell me what's going on." She said taking my hands.

"I've been throwing up every morning this week and I've just been feeling really strange, I'm scared because I feel like I know what's happening." I said starting to tear up.

"Do you think your pregnant Diana?" She asked me.

"What else would be going on inside me." I said now full on crying.

"Oh honey its alright, here's what were gonna do first, I'm gonna take you to the pharmacy and we're gonna get a pregnancy test alright, that's gonna be the first step." She said taking my hands and lifting me up from the couch.

"Ok." I said, I felt her wipe away my tears.

"Listen its gonna be Ok, I'm gonna help you get through this." She said as she went to retrieve her car keys.

My stomach and mind were tied in knots as I got into her car and as she drove I could only feel the feeling of dread as I already knew what that tests results were gonna be, it was something a a lot bigger then me and it terrified me to try and understand it.

"Alright, you ready?" She asked me as she put the car in park.

I just nodded my head yes as I stared blankly into the pharmacy windows.

We got out of the car and made our way inside the store, the smell of medicine made me feel at ease as my trailer constantly smelled like pills and booze, only this Medicine smelled like hope and help for people, this Medicine was not a addiction or a powdered hooker, you only came back for more because it benefited you, not because you felt hopeless and naked without it. Sophia lead me to the feminine care Aisal and there behold are the pregnancy tests, I just stood there distracting myself with other trinkets I saw as she picked out a reliable test for me.

"Alright Diana i found a reliable test for you, this ones 99.9% accurate and I know this for a fact because my friend learned she was pregnant from this test and it was right twice so we're gonna go with this one." She said.

We made our way to the counter and as we walked to it the tears in my eyes burned along with the saliva in my throat, it took everything in me to not burst out crying in the middle of the store, Sophia placed the test on the counter and the store clerk gave me a disgusted look as he noticed me slightly shaking in my place.

"Respectfully I'm going to ask you to not look her in the eye and judge her, you don't know her story so keep your eyes on what your're supposed to be doing alright." Sophia said sternly.

"Yes mam." The store clerk said snapping out of his trance.

We made our way home and as I made my way to the bathroom all i felt was dread and fear linger in my mind, I couldn't shake the feelings for the life of me as I opened up the test and got ready to take it.

"Universe just please be on my side just this one time." I whispered as I waited for the test to read the results.

Lone behold I see 2 little pink lines appear on that cursed little devise, the sadness already got sucked out of me from the amount of times I cried and all that was left was anger, i had no other way to keep it all inside so I screamed and threw the test against the wall, I let myself slide down the bathroom wall as I had to condition myself to not smash anything that wasn't mine, I didn't want to ever become anything like my step dad and I made sure that I didn't let my anger get out of control. Just then I heard Sophia call my name and open the bathroom door.

"Oh my god Diana." She said as she got onto the bathroom floor and clutched me.

"Its positive, I'm fucking pregnant with that rapists baby." I whispered.

"Oh honey, I'm gonna be here for you every step of the way alright, no one's gonna abandon you." she said softly as she hugged me.

"this cannot be happening right now, i'm not even 15 yet i mean this shouldn't happen till i'm grown up." i said shaking my head.

"I know it's not fair, now it is super early so you have options, you are entitled to have an abortion if that's what you want for yourself, in the end it's your choice." she said looking me in the eyes, her eyes were gorgeous, it was like a gateway into her soul.

"thank you." i said letting myself relax in her arms.

the day dragged on endlessly  as i tried to think about my decision, i just wanted to go to bed and forget about it all and pretend it never happened but i wasn't a little girl anymore, i couldn't just pretend like i used to, but i was still a kid, a kid who would be having a baby and shouldn't be. i didn't exactly just want to have a baby at my age but i knew i wasn't strong enough to go through the process of just getting rid of it. i laid in my bed and i thought about it from a new angle, i was a child that was unwanted and cast away so many times and i always said if i had kids i would love them and would stay no matter what, i knew then that it was my chance to do that, it was all under the wrong circumstances but i knew i could finally work for something worth trying in life for. The clock on the bed side table read 12:00 at midnight but i wanted to tell Sophia about my decision, so I got up and navigated through the dark to her bedroom.

"Sophia." i whispered slightly tapping her to wake her up.

"Mmm yeah Diana?" she asked, the sound of tired rasp controlling her voice.

"i think i know what i wanna do." i said twiddling my fingers.

"oh yeah?" 

"i think i'm gonna keep it, mainly because its not just his baby, its my baby and i wanna do for it what my mother never did." i said with ease.

"well then we will have to make plans for these next few months, hey i'm really proud of you, i'd be proud of you no matter your decision but your taking control of your life and i think your very brave for taking this path." she said making space for me on the bed.

"Thank you Sophia, i mean i was a complete stranger a few weeks ago and your treating me like your own child, why couldn't my mother have been like that." i said dully

"All that complete stranger needed was love and support and i want to be the one to be the one to give it to you, you deserve it more than anything right now." She said softly.

"is it ok if i can sleep in here tonight, i keep having bad dreams by myself." i asked.

"yes of course, c'mere." She said opening up the comforter.

I hesitated for a second as I recalculated my decision, the thought of it being weird for her protruded in my brain.

"Diana it's alright it's not weird or anything, if it'll comfort you I'm all for it." She said gesturing for me to come into bed.

I climbed into the bed and snuggled into the silk sheets and the heavy comforter, the bed felt like sleeping on a cloud as I laid there, it was like the eternal misery just washed away with everything else I felt, I think Sophia noticed me shaking because I felt her pull me in and spoon me, her embrace just felt like heaven and from that moment on I knew everything was gonna work out ok,

It was just gonna take some time.