The War of Hearts | Bensler

We Both Know

"I'm glad you came with me tonight" Olivia said wrapping her arm around Elliot's as they walked through the park. They had left the bar almost a half hour ago, but they weren't quite ready for the night to end yet. "Me too, it was nice to catch up with the guys, I haven't seen Munch since I came back to New York" he replied as he interlocked their fingers and smiled when she didn't tense up. "What did you guys talk about when I left? You all looked serious when I got back" she asked, leaning closer into him as they walked. Her heart began racing when he didn't respond. She stopped and stepped in front of him, dropping his hand and looking him in the eye. "Elliot what did you guys talk about?" she asked him again. He looked off to his side before answering, bracing himself for her reaction. "You. We talked about you and us...well they talked, I listened" he stammered, keeping his gaze anywhere but on her. He felt her hand gently returning her hand to its previous place in his. "How bad was it?" she asked quietly, not sure if she wanted to hear the answer. "There were tears, from all of us" he said simply. He felt her squeeze his hand gently before he continued "they don't trust me with you. Not after everything I did, everything I missed." Her heart broke hearing that the four of the strongest men in her life were moved to tears discussing her.

They all say it

All the one that made it

Once you find the one you claim it

But you're gonna have to fight

When he finally looked at her again, she could see the tears reflecting in his eyes from the park lights. "They saw me at my worst El. When you disappeared...a part of me did to and they saw that. It's like a light went out and my life and while I found happiness in other aspects of my life...nothing was ever able to fill that void" she paused. "They all watched us dance around each other for years, they watched my heart break a little every time I had to force you to go home to your wife, and a little more every time you went back to her after a separation. They saw how jealous you got every time I would go out on a date, or a guy would hit on me. They saw how protective we were of each other. They knew we were never just partners, even before we did." she said with tears now in her eyes.

When I think back

The things that threw us off track

We handled like a heart attack

Cause we didn't see the light

He pulled her into him wrapping his arms around her. "Sometimes I think about what would have happened if we had gotten together when I was separated, maybe it would have been easier" he said as he kissed the top of her head. "I've thought about it too El and even though at the time it's all I wanted, I look back now and realize it never would have worked" she said quietly, relaxing into his embrace which over the last few weeks had become her favorite place to be.

Oooooo, and now

"What? Why wouldn't it? We've established that we both had feelings for each other back then" he asked her, pulling back quickly looking at her confused. She couldn't help but find his panic slightly amusing as she placed a hand on his chest and smiled softly. "We were partners Elliot. One of us would have probably had to transfer to a different unit or at least switch partners and I for one would not have trusted anyone else to have your back. Your kids were still young, and you would have had to get a divorce and then...there would have just been too many complications to all of it. We weren't ready and I think a part of me knew that even then" she paused for a second and looked away "It wasn't the right time, no matter how much I loved you."

We both, know our

Own limitations, that's why we're strong

Now that we spent some time apart

We're leading each other, out of the dark

Cause we both know

When she looked back up at him, he was grinning from ear to ear. "What?" she asked. "You've never actually said that before" he said. She shot him a confused look before he continued "you've never actually said out loud that you loved me back then." She felt her cheeks reddening not only at his statement but in anticipation of what she was about to tell him. "Well, I did...still do" she said simply, looking him in the eye. Elliot didn't know he could feel as happy as he was in that moment, his face almost hurt from how much he was smiling.

What we're scared of

What dreams are made of

They can take us further than what anybody can see and

We both, know out

Own limitations, that's why we're strong

He pulled her back against his chest, and they stood there for a moment before he spoke "So remember how you said we weren't ready for each other back then?" She looked up at him and saw the smirk on his face "yeah I remember" she said. "Are we ready for each other now?" he asked, still smirking down at her. "Yeah, I think we are" she said with a soft smile. They stood there for a moment, completely still lost in each other's gaze. Olivia was replaying years' worth of memories in her head. Memories of friendship, betrayal, love, jealousy, trust, pain, and hope. But they all disappeared in a second, the second everything changed. The second that erased the line they had drawn between them 25 years ago. The second that 'what could've been' became reality. The second that his lips met hers.

Now that we spent some time apart

We're leading each other, out of the dark

We both, know our

Own limitations, that's why we're strong

Now that we spend some time apart

We're leading each other, out of the dark

Cause we both know

No words were needed for one thing to be understood, all it took was a single kiss. In that moment they both knew. He wasn't her first kiss, but he would be her last.

We both know.