The War of Hearts | Bensler

Break On Me

There'll be days your heart don't wanna beat

You'll pray more than you breathe

And you just wanna fall to pieces

He opened his eyes blearily when he heard his phone ringing. He looked at the clock on his nightstand, 2:00 am. He knew it couldn't be work, they had just closed a case and Ayanna had sent him home only a few hours prior telling him to take the weekend off, no argument. He reached for his phone annoyed at whoever was on the other end, interrupting the little sleep he was able to get these days. Until he saw the name lighting up his screen.

And nights, those 2 AM calls

Where dreams become walls

You just need to break

"Liv what's wrong? Are you okay? Is Noah, okay? "He began to question her quickly. She heard the panic in his voice and immediately felt bad. Of course, he would panic, what was she thinking calling him in the middle of the night. "I'm okay El. Noah is okay. I just- "she paused "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called you like this" she finished. He could hear the shakiness of her voice. He knew what this was about. "I'm on my way" he said without hesitation.

Break on me

Shatter like glass

Come apart in my hands

Take as long as it takes, girl

Break on me

It had been a week since that night in the park. A week that she has known the feeling of his lips on hers. A week since he walked her up to her apartment. A week since they couldn't get close enough to each other. A week since hands began to wander. A week since she pushed him away. A week since she told him to leave. A week since it all came to a crashing halt. She had gotten caught up in the moment and didn't even think twice when his hands began to slip under the hem of her blouse. The feeling of his calloused fingers on the soft skin of her back. It wasn't until she felt his hand begin to travel around to her stomach, across a line of raised skin that the racing of her heart went from passion to panic. The rest of the night was a blur to her. Her panicking, her telling him everything Lewis had done to her, her crying, showing him the physical scars, him crying. She knew they would have to discuss it eventually but in the back of her mind there was a part of her that was afraid that once he knew, once he had seen the marks that littered her skin, it would ruin everything. How could he possibly love her after that? He said that it changed nothing but the insecurities lived rent free in the back of her mind.

Put your head on my chest

Let me help you forget

When your heart needs a break

Just break on me

When he got to her apartment, he pulled out the key she had given him a couple weeks before. She had said it was for emergencies and in his mind this qualified. The sight when he opened the door felt like a knife to the heart. He had never seen her look so fragile. She had turned to look at him from her spot on the couch, the light from the kitchen reflecting from her tear-streaked face. Neither of them said a word as he locked the door behind him and sat down next to her. She felt his arms wrap around her and pull her into his chest. She wasn't sure when she had started to cry again but she couldn't stop. He sat there holding her tightly, letting her cry. She had told him that while she had gone to therapy and put in the work to heal and move on, there were still nights every once in a while, that it all came back to her and left her wrecked. Tonight, was one of those nights. He had seen the physical scars and those had hit him hard, imagining the physical torture she had endured but it was nothing compared to this. For the first time he was seeing the emotional scars that left the strongest woman he has ever known in pieces.

There'll be times when someone you know

Becomes someone you knew

But you'd do anything to change it "We've been partners for 11 years. You know everything about me- even parts I'd rather forget" she had said to him over a decade ago and at the time he did but now looking down at the woman in his arms it hit him that he didn't. He would never fully know the horrors she had experienced over the ten years he was gone. He saw the pain that after all these years still had a death grip on her and he would give anything to be able to go back and change what had happened to her, but he couldn't. So instead held her close and did the only thing he knew how to. He loved her.

And words you wanna take back

But you know you can't

When the page just won't turn

And it still hurts

As she quieted, she began to shift. "I'm sorry, you didn't have to come over here. I'm fine" she said as she tried to move away from him. He pulled her back to sit next to him and wrapped his arm around her back. "No, you're not Olivia so stop trying to act like you are. I came over here because I love you and I meant what I said, you don't have to go through this stuff alone anymore" he said to her as he pushed a strand of hair out of her face before he continued "You're human Olivia. You have feelings and you have hard days, don't ever apologize for that."

Break on me

Shatter like glass

Come apart in my hands

Take as long as it takes, girl

Break on me

"Why?" Olivia asked him as she looked up with tears in her eyes. He looked at her confused "what do you mean?" She looked down and picked at a loose thread on her shirt. "Why do you stay? Why do you put up with my never ending back and forth of emotions? I shut you out for a week and as soon as I call you come running in the middle of the night. I just don't get it, how could-" she paused as her voice broke "how could you love that?" she finished.

Let me help you forget

When your heart needs to break

Just break on me

"Olivia we were partners for twelve years. Those weren't always good times. We fought, we shut each other out, we yelled, we ran, we were a mess honestly" he said with a soft smile. "But regardless of what was going on between the two of us we could always rely on each other, and we knew that if we looked back the other would be standing there to pick us up if we needed it. After all the shit we went through together and put each other through, I never stopped loving you." He paused "Why would that change now?"

Oh, when you need somebody

When you need somebody right now

You're where I'll be

He wiped a tear that had fallen down her cheek and kissed her lips gently before pulling away and looking her in the eye. "Olivia you can yell and scream and push me away and scare me off all you want but its not going to work. I'm going to be here. I love you more than life itself and I'm not walking away. So, if you need to break down then I'm going to be right next to you. You don't have to pretend with me. You can break on me."

Break on me

Shatter like glass

Come apart in my hands

Take as long as it takes, girl

Break on me

Put your head on my chest

Let me help you forget

Heart needs to break

Just break on me