Trust Me, I Will Never Trust You.

Chapter 18

Xpel couldn't take it anymore, and she ran out of the gym, heading straight for the locker room. She slammed the door shut and slumped down against the wall, trying to catch her breath. But Bucky wasn't far behind, and he found her sitting on the floor with her head buried in her hands.

He stood towering over her her, unsure of how to approach the situation. 

Despite the history between them, he spoke in a gentle tone. 

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Xpel looked up at him, her eyes cold and distant. "Nothing," she replied curtly.

Bucky persisted, "You can trust me. Whatever it is, we can talk about it."

Xpel scoffed, "Trust me, Winter, I'm never going to trust you."

Bucky looked hurt, "How many times, kid? I'm not the Winter Soldier anymore."

Xpel rolled her eyes, "Whatever you say."

Bucky sighed, knowing that he had to be careful with his words. "Why are you blocking everyone out? If you want people on your side, you can't push them away."

Xpel remained silent for a moment, then spoke up. "People are overrated." Her response holding no emotion.

Silence.

Xpel sighed and continued: "...They just hurt you, no matter their intentions." 

Bucky shook his head, "But I wouldn't..."

"If you didn't defect, they wouldn't have put me through what they did," Xpel interrupted, her voice heavy with bitterness.

Bucky huffed in frustration and stood up, turning to storm out of the locker room. As he reached the door, he ran into Nat, who was standing there.

"Bucky, she didn't mean it," Nat said, trying to calm him down.

But Bucky pushed past her, unable to shake off the pain and guilt of his past actions.

• • •

Xpel sat in Dr Raynor's office; her arms crossed tightly across her chest as she looked around the room. The walls were white, a bookshelf stood in one corner, filled with psychology textbooks and self-help books.

"Xpel, how have you been feeling since our last session?" Dr Raynor's voice broke the silence.

Xpel shrugged noncommittally.

Dr Raynor sighed and started taking notes in her notebook, writing down Xpel's unresponsive behaviour.

"So, how has your week been?" Dr Raynor asked, trying to prompt a response from Xpel.

Xpel shrugged,  still not saying anything.

Dr Raynor tried a different approach, "How are you sleeping?"

Xpel's response was barely audible, "Fine."

Dr Raynor wrote down another note in her notebook, her frustration starting to show.

"Xpel," Dr Raynor spoke up, her tone slightly passive-aggressive. "It's important that you engage in these therapy sessions. It's part of the conditions set forth by the council for your continued station in the team."

Xpel shrugged, still not looking at the therapist. "I know."

Dr Raynor sighed and closed her notebook, placing it on the table before her. "You know, Xpel, therapy can be a safe space for you. You can talk about anything that's on your mind, and I'm here to listen and help you."

Xpel remained silent, her expression unreadable.

"Is there anything specific that's been bothering you lately?" Dr Raynor asked.

Xpel shook her head. "No."

Dr Raynor leaned forward, trying to establish eye contact with Xpel. "I sense a lot of tension and anger in you. Is there something you'd like to talk about?"

Xpel kept her gaze averted, still refusing to engage. "No."

Dr Raynor let out a frustrated sigh, feeling like she was hitting a brick wall with Xpel. "Alright, well, we can sit here in silence if that's what you prefer. But I do want to remind you that these sessions are not optional."

Xpel remained stoic; her arms crossed defensively over her chest. The session continued in tense silence for the rest of the hour, with Dr Raynor feeling increasingly frustrated with Xpel's lack of engagement. She couldn't help but wonder what it would take to break through Xpel's walls and help her heal from whatever pain she was holding onto so tightly.

• • •

Nat found Bucky sitting alone in the kitchen, staring blankly at the table in front of him. She sighed and took a seat next to him,

"You know Xpel didn't mean it," Nat said softly.

Bucky sighed, "I know... It's the way she looks at me... like she hates me."

"You're acting like she's killed your puppy one minute, and then when she retaliates, you're surprised?" Nat said with a hint of frustration in her voice.

Bucky looked at her with a raised eyebrow, "Seriously, Nat? You too?"

"I just... don't like her," Bucky said, looking away.

"Bull," Nat said, shaking her head. "Pull yourself together. She needs someone like Steve was to you when you were settling in, not some ex-assassin with bad mood swings."

Bucky let out a small chuckle, "Ex-assassin with bad mood swings? That's rich coming from you."

Nat rolled her eyes, "Hey, at least I'm aware of it. You, on the other hand, need to check yourself, Barnes."

Bucky nodded, "I know, I know. I'll try better with her."

Surprise! Two uploads in one day! I submitted my paper early so thought I'd treat myself and you guys. 1 more deadline in a couple of weeks and then I'm done for summer! Gotta love condensed teaching weeks XD