As A Stranger Or A Friend?: The Swallow And The Drowned Sailor

Mariel - 30 Evening Star, 1245 A.D.

I licked my lips and eyed the back entry of a local bakery; surely, the baker would be out soon to dispose of what he'd failed to sell that day. I'd been hiding here for some time after I arrived in Marinta just a few hours ago because I was starving, and the fixation to sate that feeling was all I could think about. Up to now, it had been simpler to ignore how hungry I was because there weren't bakeries in the wilds that might waft their mouthwatering scents through the air to stir such feelings so violently. I suppose that was lucky because it made eating acorns, grass, and insects feel easy, even satisfying.

But, even if those things were edible, they were not substantial, and it was starting to show as I'd significantly weakened and lost quite a bit of weight off my frame. If I didn't eat something more akin to real food soon, I would quickly fade. I was already fighting sleep as it was because I got the sense that if I closed my eyes, I wouldn't wake again, and on the chance that I did, I might find myself in the clutches of someone willing to turn me over to The Pale Kings. It would be very likely, especially in a place like this.

Upon entering the city, I spotted knights of the Order of Rameses roaming down every street and milling about every free corner, as well as posters on every surface imaginable advertising a hefty reward for my live capture: twenty thousand dragons. The figure was hardly conceivable to me! The only frame of reference I had for how much that could be was the fortune that Axtapor and the crew of the Angel's Lyre had come for the day he and I first met. But I didn't know enough about jewels to guess if my worth might be similar to theirs. Perhaps it was a lot more; perhaps it was a lot less. I wasn't sure. In any case, I was certain the people here were vigilant if they were constantly being reminded of the fact that I was still missing and that it would benefit them greatly if they were the ones to hand me over. If I made the slightest error, starving to death would be the least of my concerns.

The door opened, and the baker tossed out a few halves of burned bread, then went back inside. I blinked, struggling to stop time before hurrying to the discards, quickly collecting them, and then returning to my hiding spot. I made it back just as sound returned to the world, and I fought to catch my breath. I would need to rest here for a few moments until I was recovered enough to make my way back to a tiny alcove by the docks I'd spotted earlier. In my weakened state, the spell was hardly useful, and a part of me was a little angry I hadn't just come here sooner instead of wasting time in the forests outside of Evios. Things would have been much simpler that way.

I took a few more seconds, glancing in the direction of the docks, when the sight of cured meat and cheese caught my eye from a nearby stall. My mouth watered. I hadn't eaten cheese since I left Evios and couldn't even remember the last time I'd eaten meat. Surely they wouldn't notice if a little was missing... I took a deep breath, painfully stopping time before darting over to the stall, gathering whatever I could easily get my hands on, and running towards the docks.

The spell broke just seconds before I hunkered down in my hiding spot; though I'd gotten lucky and no one saw me, the people around there simply continued with their usual business. But there was no time to waste now! I gorged myself on my pickings and was so happy I could weep! Food! Real food! And more delicious than any I had the chance to eat in a long time! By the time I was through, I was in a comfortable daze and decided that risks like these were worth taking. I was free after all, and while I didn't want to throw caution to the wind entirely, I should do my best to make the most of my situation. I realized, perhaps later than most would have, that an existence of true obscurity was not what I really wanted.

I wanted happiness, comfort, safety, and companionship, but not just with anyone; I was sure now that I wanted those things with him. With Axtapor, my Axtapor. What a mistake it had been to send him away! In both my dreams and waking life, he'd been able to give me all that I wanted! And it crushed me to realize that the world unfolding in my dreams with him could have been a reality! Instead, I was caught in this half-dying existence of my own machination for no reason other than having been afraid! But now that I knew these things, I could not wait around for someone to rescue me again, nor could I leave them as they were. I must be brave! I must be bold! I must free myself, for only then could I have the life I dreamed of! I closed my eyes to pray for him with a renewed sense of hope in my belly because, come sunrise, I would steal away on a ship bound for the Holtep Empire and begin my quest to find him again.