As A Stranger Or A Friend?: The Swallow And The Drowned Sailor

Mariel - 1 Sun's Dawn, 1246 A.D.

I finally reached a secluded area and let myself weep. Somehow we'd crossed paths again, and of course, it had been after I'd finally come to terms with never seeing him again, but it seemed I would not have the fortune of forgetting him easily. I'd tried to put out of my mind who that woman might be when I followed him out of the square, but there was no way I could be ignorant of it now. He'd said it himself: he was married, and she was his wife.

Unsurprisingly, she was fiery and beautiful and elegant looking. She decorated herself in luxurious, airy silks and bright gold jewelry set with more moonstones than I could count. He was quite generous with her, and I gathered the reason for that must be the one thing I knew he would not be able to ignore: her waist. I knew that he must have a liking for that part of a woman's body, I'd caught him looking at mine many times before, but his wife was the very example of that feminine shape. She looked so tiny that she might snap in half if she moved too quickly. And he... No, I didn't even want to dwell on how handsome he looked.

How well they paired together too. They were like petals of a delicate flower when they stood side-by-side; he, of that familiar lavender, and she, of a lovely violet. Despite this, he seemed almost bothered by her presence. Perhaps they were still growing accustomed to one another if what he said was true about not being married for very long. But did he love her? I supposed that didn't matter. He was firmly out of reach now.

Even though some part of me knew that he would not wait around for the day I waltzed back into his life, this discovery still upset me. To think that he'd confessed his love for me just months ago! And so sincerely! But perhaps his love was never that deep. Might it have even been false? I felt like such a fool. All of those sweet dreams, all of that longing! And for what?! For nothing! I should have been stronger before! If I wanted to be with him so badly and felt so hurt and betrayed now that I couldn't be, why did I let him go so easily?! I couldn't remember the reason, but none of that mattered. It was evident that I'd truly just been a passing fancy for him. I was so stupid. Such— Such an idiot to get swept up in someone just because they'd shown more than an inkling of interest in me...