Why?! (Black Ink Demon)
??????????? (totally not the ink demon's) POV
i woke up and got ready 5 for a nother bad day like always. i wasnt allowed to play turf bc of my ink color because i have this really strong black ink and everyone called me a demon :'( guess they just read wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to much wattpad fanfiction or smth lmaoooooo
i left my hpuse to buy some milk. "dad were are you goig?" asked my stupid stupid rat adopted child, Depresso. "to buy some milk." i said. i went out the door but before i coud get to the store this creepy old lady started staring at me. then i saw her go down a sewer drain, and i did what anyon woud do: follow her.it turned out it led to a giant sewer hq and the creepy old lady wasnt an old lady, she was just a normal inkling but with old gray stinky pinky dinky rinky gramma hair. "where is we?'' i asked. "tentkell outpost." she said. "ok whatddo i do?" i asked. "kill all these stupid dupid cupid soup stinky slimy sewer octopus de-evolutions." she said. "ok, makes sens to me." i siad.
so i went on my 1st mission. it was so esy i did all the 1ns in tentkell outpost. "gud job loser." said the lady with old gray stinky pinky dinky rinky gramma hair. "ur payment is nothing." i decided to do literally every ketle xvcept the final boss. along the way, we kep geting thesse wierd mesagess and it was gettig relly anoying so i broke the wakie taki. mmmmm......takis...
then i went to the finall ketle 4 da big bad boos (oops) boops (again!) bos (almost!!!) boobs (NO!) boss (finally!!!!!!!) of sectr 5, cephalophonisfissiolon hq. it was a big fat octo with even stinkier pinkier dinkier rinkier tentacles. "YOU SMELL LIKE FISH" i said. he slappped me with his giant rusty musty dusty crusty zesty bestie nasty robot fist. "OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" i said in the most calm and colected way possicle.mmmmmmm....popsicles.................................
then i decided i was done with this. i channeled my inner demon, and...!
nothing happened because as i said, i m nota demon lol :'( but i was done. i snimped (again...) simped (lmaooo...but again!!) sniped (THERE!) those stupid dupid cupid soup absolutegodofhyperdeathshades of that inklings head. "OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YOU GOT INK RIGHT IN MY EYE" she said in the most calm and colected way possicle. "mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....popsicles..." she said "yk what?? i could really go for some takis riht now...... i quit, you fat octo with stinky pinky dinky rinky tentacles and a robot that shoots giant rusty musty dusty crusty zesty bestie nasty robot fists!!1!"
and we al went back to tentkell outpost. "wait you like taki popsicles to??!!?!??!/!??!///'1?!" i said. "yes." she said. 'there my favorirte food" i was in shock. "will u be my gf?'' i asked. "no lol" she said. "id rather be with that fat octo with stinky pinky dinky rinky tentacles and a robot that shoots giant rusty musty dusty crusty zesty bestie nasty robot fists!! then she left to mary the fat octo with stinky pinky dinky rinky tentacles and a robot that shoots giant rusty musty dusty crusty zesty bestie nasty robot fists
"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" i said in the most calm and colected way possicle. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..................popsicles.........
"lol u just got rejected bish" said the lady with old gray stinky pinky dinky rinky gramma hair
"oh wait, i never got either of ur names" i said. "oh, well mines Me and my cousins is Kill. together it spells Kill Me!" but i wasnt listening. i was staring off into space thinking about what i would do if i were a dung beetle. "sorry, could you say that again?/" i aksed. "i was busy staring off into space thinking about what i would do if i were a dung beetle"
"oh sure'' she said. "Kill Me" and i took her words very literally. i picked up my hero shot an murdreddsdeddeeddd her lolllll noob
then Kill came back. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME!!!!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!??!??!??!?!????!//!?/!/!!???!?!/1/1/1//!?1?!?1?/1/1/1?1///1?1?!?1?/1/1" she asked in the most calm and colected way possicle. mm...popsicles.....
''i didnt do anything to you!1!!1!1" i said. "Not me!" she said. "Me! Like, my cousin!!!!11!" oh. wait. i stilll dont get it.
"um miss lady "KILL", i didnt do anythibnmf to u!!!!!!!!"
"ok but wutdddsid u do to/ my cusin?!?!?!??!?!??!?!"
"UmmmmmmmmmmmmmmMmMMmmMmmmmm...nothing!" i said. Kill stared at the puddle of green ink on the floor for a second and then looked at me with a big siychopath smile. "ok then!!1! i was just gonna give Me her wedding inivitation!
"ur inviting urself??!?!??!!????~!?! butt its yor wedding!!!! u stoopid! u domt need to inv1te ur self!!!"
"i meant my cou...NEVERMIND! anyways~im getting married to that fat octo with stinky pinky dinky rinky tentacles and a robot that shoots giant rusty musty dusty crusty zesty bestie nasty robot fists!!1!"
i took the invitatatatattataionn zaza rattata macarena shlooppppwedeedoop from her. but instead of giving it to the floor puddle that was Me, i kept it 4 myself. i wanted to attend it! but she would know if only i came to the wedding, so i left the sewers for a minute to buy a gramma wig. but for some reason, my card declined???? "cod fucking dammit!" i said. "did Depresso spend all my G on blobex (oops) robex (no!) bobux (mm...closer...) rabax (NOOO!) robux (FINALLY) again!!!!??!?!?!/?!?!?" since i was now broke, i stole the wig and went back to the sewers. and because this is a world wehr everyone is stoooo00000oopid, no one chased after me!!!!1! lol N00BS!
i went to the wedding. i was the only person there othr than Kill and the fat octo with stinky pinky dinky rinky tentacles and a robot that shoots giant rusty musty dusty crusty zesty bestie nasty robot fists. "hey, i don't think i cauht ur name" i said to him. "oh!" he said. "its fat octo with stinky pinky dinky rinky tentacles and a robot that shoots giant rusty musty dusty crusty zesty bestie nasty robot fists!!1!" "oh okay" i said. "thats easy to remember!"
and then he died of death when i killed him because earlier in the book he slappped me with his giant rusty musty dusty crusty zesty bestie nasty robot fist. "LOL GET REKT NOOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" i said in the most calm and colected way posicle. "mmmmm...popsicles"
and then the fic ended bc the author was done and both Kill and Depresso died of a brocken heart bc Kill's fiance was ded an Depresso's dad never came back with the milk lol
THE END
(authors note from when this becomes a repost)
wtf
remind me never to write at 6am ever again
this is when i try to write a joke fic while sleep deprived XD
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Random Joke Stories
RandomJoke fics. Can I call these oneshots if some of them have 2 parts??? | There are currently joke fics for Splatoon and TotK. I also have an alternate ending for my Splatoon AU.
