"Quackity!" Wilbur burst into Quackity's office. Quackity glared up at him from his desk where he was doing paper work. "I need your help."
"You need more than just MY help," Quackity rolled his eyes. "Get out, Soot. I don't want you here."
Wilbur shut the door and rushed over to Quackity. "But please! I need your help."
"With what?" Quackity put his pen down and looked up at Wilbur with boredom.
"My wife," Wilbur stared down Quackity.
"You have a wife?" Quackity asked.
"Yes, Sally Salmon," Wilbur said. "I need help pleasing her."
"Pleasing her?"
"Well, you see, we've only had sex once," Wilbur explained. "I thought it was great, but she said it was awful. I want to do it again, but she won't let me yet. I need your help making it better."
"How? Do you want me to like, talk you through it? Tell you what to do?" he laughed, not believing Wilbur was serious.
"Well, I'm more of a hands on learner," Wilbur smirked.
"What do you mean?" Quackity's face fell momentarily, but he switched it back to neutral fairly quickly.
"Well, words won't do much..." Wilbur forced away his smile. "I need.... Actions. Learning through the process. And I figured there's no one better to learn through than you."
"Are you calling me a whore?" Quackity glared, mildly offended.
"No," Wilbur laughed. "I just mean you've had what? Three or four exes? There's no way you've had no experience. And you're the only one I'd care to sleep with for education. Everyone else would laugh at me."
"And who says I wouldn't?"
"You haven't."
Quackity thought for a moment. He didn't like Wilbur. The man was dirty and gross. His wife is smart to not let Wilbur anywhere near her. But then again, it's free sex, something he hasn't had in a while.
"Are you clean?" he scanned him. "Scratch that, do you have any STDs?"
"No, like I said, only slept with her once," Wilbur smiled, happy things are going his way.
"You will be taking a shower before we do anything," Quackity picked up a pen and a blank sheet of paper. "Sit."
Wilbur sat, confused. He thought Quackity would say no. And on the slim chance he said yes, he thought they'd start right away.
"If I get an STD, I'm suing you," Quackity wrote down all his terms and conditions. "Assuming we're going to be doing this for a while because you're... You, I will be in complete control for at least the first time."
"May I cut in here?" Wilbur smiled. Quackity nodded. "I'm not bottoming. I'm not gay. I want you to act as my wife, but you don't have to change your appearance or anything. I can imagine her."
Quackity raised a brow at him. "Fine."
They went over a few other things, kinks, whens and wheres, all that shit. Quackity made his no goes or "icks" very well known. Wilbur gave a few basic kinks and said he's comfortable with just about anything.
The ex president signed the paper Quackity wrote, and Quackity signed it as well. Wilbur took note how there was nothing about genuine feelings towards each other. He couldn't help but wonder if it had just slipped the duck's mind or if it was intentional. He decided not to ask.
"Shower," Quackity demanded, pointing to his private bathroom.
Wilbur got up and took a quick shower. Though, he paused, only a moment, to wonder what Quackity does in said shower. Aside from cleaning himself, that is. He got out dressed in a bathrobe Quackity had.
