Fundy- hello, Grandfather.
Phil- hello.
Fundy- oh, so he can talk then, can he?
Wilbur- well, of course he can. He's a human being, isn't he?
Quackity- well, if he's your grandfather, who knows? *fake laugh*
Quackity- tell me, how did you find America?
Wilbur- Turn left at Greenland.
Wilbur- *starting song* one. Two. Three-
Quackity- *without missing a beat* Bread.
Wilbur- *to Quackity* here's our demo. And a T-shirt. Size beautiful~
Revivebur- I have been crying for twenty-five years?! How is that even possible?!!
Tommy- *watching Quackity hand out fliers*what is he handing out?
Wilbur- Desperation.
Tommy- girls,am I right?
Wilbur- yeah.
Quackity- *scoffs* no.
Wilbur- *in quackity's bedroom snooping*
Quackity- what are you doing in here?
Wilbur- uuhhhhhhhhh I was looking for the kitchen?
Quackity- *arguing with a bird*
Wilbur- what's he saying?
Quackity- he's being a douchebag!
Bird- who you callin douchebag, douchebag?
Quackity- oh shut it, you winged rat!
Wilbur- dude. just call down. Get in the car.
Bird- haha that's right Sally. Go cry to mama.
Quackity- *pulls gun on bird*
Wilbur- *on the phone with Quackity* this isn't funny, Alex. The voice says I'm almost out of minutes!
Quackity- snap the hell out of it!
Wilbur- *le gasp* Sir. Watch your mouth. If we cannot remain civil, then you can skedaddle.
Quackity- *opens door*
Tiger- *meows*
Wilbur- *screams for a solid 30 seconds* *panting* that was scary!
Quackity- *ranting*
Wilbur- *standing behind him* hey, assbutt!
Quackity- *talking about dream* if he's not in [prison] then he has to be somewhere...
Wilbur- try New Mexico, I heard he's on a tortilla.
Quackity- *thinking* no... He's not on any flatbread.
Quackity- how would you describe your relationship with your father?
Wilbur- no, actually, we're just good friends
Wilbur- what do you call that collar you're wearing?
Quackity- uhm... A collar.
Wilbur- *messing with Quackity* oh be careful, Quackity. Just give me that QuackiD already!
Phil- maybe it's time you made a call
Techno and Tommy- *nod*
Wilbur- Why's it always gotta be me that makes the call, huh?
Everyone- *staring at Quackity who spawned behind Wilbur*
Wilbur- *continuing unaware* "it's not like Q lives in my ass. Dude's busy."
Wilbur- *suddenly aware of Quackity and turns around* Alex, get out of my ass!
Quackity- I was never.. In your...
Everyone- *gives them both strange looks*
Quackity- is [Dr blah blah blah] in? My friend is very sick.
Wilbur- *smirking* I have a painful burning sensation.
Quackity- 🤦♂
Quackity- do you think you're funny?
Wilbur- *thinking* I think I'm adorable
*techno and Tommy searching through Wilbur's room for fun*
Techno- what did you find?
Tommy- love letters. They were under the bed. They're from Quackity and they're surprisingly passionate.
Techno- passionate? How? *sips tea*
Tommy- he spends uh... Quite a bit of time talking about the uhh the shape and the heft of his-
Techno- okay! *clears throat* got it. Yep. Passionate. Understood.
Quackity- what is that smell? Is that soap? Did you clean??
Wilbur- what are you? My mother? Bite me!
Wilbur- *on the phone with Q* did you know my first girlfriend turned out to be a-
Quackity- *hangs up* no! No. Mm-mm.
Wilbur- *hurt by something his family said*
Quackity- *sarcastically* well Boohoo. I am so sorry your feelings are hurt, princess. Are you under the impression that family is supposed to make you feel good? Make you an apple pie maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family!
Wilbur- *flabbergasted*
*quackity and Wilbur walking*
Wilbur- *gets gum on his shoe and tries to scrape it off on a broken storm drain*
Shoe- *fuckin dips*
Quackity- *turns around*
Wilbur- *pouting*
Quackity- what?
Wilbur- I lost my shoe... 😔
Quackity- what was your lowest point?
Wilbur- right! Lowest point.. Well- geographically Hell, of course. It's hard to get much lower than that. *giggles*
Quackity- *opens the door* Soot?
Wilbur- hello murderer 🥰
Quackity- murderer?
Wilbur- just to be safe, I'm not leaving your side. So just think of me as your guardian devil 🥰
Quackity- -_-
Quackity- *chasing Dream*
Wilbur- *throws tire at Dream*
Dream- *gets knocked out*
Quackity- *catches up*
Wilbur- *walks over* see? Didn't have time chase him at all. He got tired.
Wilbur- *trying to flirt with Quackity* I'm so good at flipping men they call me a skillet
Quackity- I guess humanity isn't entirely awful. They did make vodka.
Wilbur- *to slime* hugs, not drugs. *pause and laughs* no sorry. Reverse that one. Drugs, not hugs!
Wilbur- *starts dancing*
Quackity- oh now he's dancing... *takes shotfrom waiter and drinks it*
Slime- *in school next to Wilbur who's smoking* I don't think you're allowed to smoke in here.
Wilbur- *sarcastically* oh dear. What will become of me?
Slime- my dad's the president. He could arrest you.
Wilbur- oh. I think I might know your father.
Slime- what's your name?
Wilbur- Wilbur
Slime- *whispering* like the myth?
Wilbur- exactly!
Slime- my names Slimecicle. But everyone calls me slime.
Wilbur- that's a hookers name.
Slime- what's a hooker?
Wilbur- ask your father :D
*later*
Slime- *to Quackity* What's a hooker?
Quackity- *shocked* Fundy will tell you! *gives Slime to Fundy*
Wilbur- what do you call that hairstyle you're wearing?
Quackity- Arthur.
Quackity- *getting fitted for a new suit and steps away from the measure*
Wilbur- *in a female voice* I now declare this bridge open! *cuts the tape measure*
Wilbur- *trying on a wig*
Quackity- take that wig off! It suits you!
Wilbur- *lays his jacket over a puddle so Quackity can cross without ruining his shoes*
Quackity- *falls in hold covered by the jacket*
Wilbur- *acts like nothing happened and leaves*
