Impossible to Forget

Chapter One

I stretched wanting to unbuckle the uncomfortable restraint around my waist. Seriously, after nineteen hours in an economy class seat with nothing to watch but reruns of Hannah Montana, I was about to die of boredom. The only things keeping me sane were my Ipod and the view of  blue sky right outside my four inch thick window.

Glancing at the young mother next to me, I sighed. I had met her during the stop over in London and she had immediately taken to me, acting as if we were the best of friends. Since I was traveling alone, it was nice to have someone to talk to. Plus, she was traveling to meet her husband with her infant little girl, Rani, and she was definitely Queen material. She had the most adorable smile with a dimple on each cheek. But as nice as they were, the constant crying of Rani during the flight and the incessant chatter of her mother Roma were enough to drive anyone nuts! 

As soon as the baby fell asleep, Roma would start interrogating me about my life which was hard for me to put up with. At least they were both asleep for now. After all, this was supposed to be my well deserved escape. 

“So why are you traveling so far all by yourself?”

“Well, I needed a break.”

“From what?”

“Everything.”

I had stopped there and maybe she sensed that I didn’t really want to talk about it because she started talking about her husband who she hadn’t seen in almost a year. Her face seemed to light up, especially at the thought of Rani finally being able to reunite with her father.

Maybe she thought I was cold for not sharing anything, but how was I supposed to talk about something I didn’t fully understand myself?

The thoughts I had been battling with inside my head for months started pounding again, reminding me of the aching abyss in my heart refusing to be filled.

Signaling the air hostess, I asked for a glass of ginger ale hoping something cool would help calm the headache that was waiting to arise. I couldn’t help but envy the simple grace with which she held herself as she walked up and down the aisle after handing me the glass completely accustomed to the airplane. It just wasn’t fair, I hated the claustrophobic feel of planes. It made me feel sick, literally, and there is nothing more ungraceful than a barfing girl. I had made it so far with only minimal discomfort and no signs of an oncoming barf session, but I had my brown paper bag ready just in case.

Rani let out a cute little gurgle and smiled in her sleep. Something about the wholehearted innocence of the movement made me relax for the first time in months and for the first time that whole flight I was able to fall asleep.

…........................................................................................................................................................

It was the last period of the very last day of school and I was completely exhausted. I hadn’t slept for more than 4 hours each night for the past month. I didn’t know what was wrong. I couldn’t concentrate, not on school, not on family, and not on friends.

For as long as I could remember, which unfortunately isn’t very long, I have had this little ache in my heart. Once when I had mentioned it to my parents, they rushed me off to the hospital, but even after all the X-rays, CAT scans, and blood tests, the doctors couldn’t find anything wrong.