Carry that weight (Fruk)

16

"BLESS ME, FATHER! FOR I HAVE SINNED! Mylastconfessionwasoneweekago, AND I NEED AID!"

"Ah, slow down...I am here to listen—"

"No! Listen to me!"

"I just said—"

"Wait!" I spoke. I cut him off before he could say anything, and thought for a moment.

A moment to think.

Was I really about to tell this random priest my deepest secrets? They would say to me the answer I already knew. There was no point in doing this right now because I knew the answer. It was a matter of if I wanted Jesus to get in on my secret.

I could only think about what happened yesterday. The effects gave me whiplash and this discombobulated feeling.

~
"WAIT! We can't be doing this!" I demanded. I pulled away from Francis and finally got a good look at his face. He was red, bright red. His hair had gotten messy, and I felt the hair band fall out of mine.

"Sorry, I don't...know what came over me...Arthur, I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything. I just...I don't know..." he spoke. He looked baffled and didn't know what to say.

"I don't...understand...why?" I spoke. He looked at me worriedly, placing a hand on his forehead. "I'm sorry...my emotions got the better of me...I...used to have a crush on you...and well, after you confessed, it was like they came back, and I couldn't help myself..." He spoke, and I looked at him horrified.

"My brother...."

"I KNOW!"

"But...you're..."

"YES!"

Wait...

"You had a crush on me? Why didn't you tell me?!"

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT! How is that my fault?! Now you suddenly tell me this? How else am I supposed to feel? OH NO! I'm going to hell!"

"OKAY, OKAY, OKAY! We can't tell anyone about this. You are married to my brother! We are friends! This can't happen again! Understood?" I asked. Francis was still flustered but nodded in agreement. I wanted to explode from him, telling me he used to have a crush on me.

Wait...could I be the person he was describing the other day?

I'm such an idiot!

We continued to look at each other nervously. My heart was beating quickly. I wanted to hit myself across the face for being an oblivious idiot.

~

I am still very much an idiot.

And not for kissing him back or anything. It was because I wanted to do it again! I was absolutely thinking about seeing him again. I had a few more questions to ask.

And then...the thought of my idiot brother crossed my mind. The longer I take to keep it in, the worse it will be on me. I will ask to see Francis again! And tell him! Then I will be done with this and forget any of this happened. Then I can buy a nice cottage and live out the rest of my days in isolation and loneliness.

The plan was perfect.

"Yes, actually, I changed my mind..."

"What? You seemed eager to confess..."

"Yes...but..."

Quick! Think of something!

"It's rather cold in here; how about I come another day!"

I could sense the priest was about to say something, but I immediately stood up, leaving. There was only one person on my mind. It wasn't even my brother or his affairs, only Francis. Once I told him, I could only assume he would leave my brother. I mean, that was what I hoped, at least.

I quickly took my phone out, pulling up my call log. I will ask him to see me tonight. I held the phone to my ear, waiting for him to answer.

"Arthur? Hello?"

"Francis! Can you meet me tonight? I need to talk to you about something! It's important!"

"Yes! I don't see why not! Your brother says he will be out late for work again. Which is starting to bother me...lately he has been staying late, and he usually doesn't; I'm starting to wonder why..."

Great! My idiot brother was drawing attention! Too bad! I was going to say something either way. "Perfect, we have more time to talk," I laughed. I continued walking out of the church, laughing a bit at what I said.

"Ah, is that so? Or do you plan to do more than talk?" He spoke. It was like I could hear his smirk through the phone. I wasn't hitting on him! He was doing it all himself. The only reason I let this slide was because my brother was cheating. If he weren't, of course, I would put my foot down. However, a part of me wanted to enjoy this while I could.

"Talk! Obviously! When can you come by?" I asked. I stopped walking as I reached the sidewalk. If my brothers knew how often I was coming to confession lately, they would make fun of me. "Ah, when will you be home?" He asked.

I took a deep breath in, looking around. He was wasting no time rushing to me. As much as I loved my brother, he did screw up, and I couldn't not say something to Francis. It was time for me to get over myself.

"Soon, maybe in ten minutes. Can you come by then?" I asked. I could hear Francis doing something on the other end, but I ignored it. "Yes, of course, I will," he spoke.

He stayed silent for a moment, and so did I.

"Okay, I will see you soon, be safe."

"Of course, you'd nag me otherwise!"

"Oh, I don't do it so much anymore!"

"Yes, and you should; I miss your nagging."

I smiled a bit at what he said and continued to walk. "Okay! I will see you in a bit! I'm trying to walk home!" I pointed out. He laughed a bit, and I felt weak. "Ah yes, you have never been a multitasker, so I can't talk to you while you walk! You could trip over yourself!" He laughed. I rolled my eyes at what he said. "Okay! I'm hanging up!"

"Wait! No—"

I hung up the phone, still smiling.

It was such a stupid thing to smile about, but I really appreciated it when he messed with me like this. It reminds me of how much I need him more often and how much I've missed him since he has been with my brother.