Unholy | Noah Sebastian

|Chapter One|

My name is Briar Marlow, and five days ago I died.

There are things we can control, and things we can't. People have been telling me that my whole life. It's normally in response to my OCD; obsessive compulsive disorder. And I don't mean the fun kind that kind of makes you a perfectionist. Briar, your house isn't going to burn down just because you left the toaster plugged in. Briar, just because your oil light came on doesn't mean you have to change it right away or the engine will blow. You just can't control everything, Briar.

They don't get it. They don't get the compulsion to do everything right, or something terrible might happen. Logically, I know I don't control the universe. I'm not the Creator, of course I know that. It doesn't change the itching in my brain if I don't wait for the crosswalk sign to change even if there are no cars in sight.

But I digress, I knew they were right, but I didn't know how right until the night I died.

"I'll see you next time, mother," I call out before sinking into my leather seats.

"Call me when you get home," she waves from the door. That's a phrase she just says, she doesn't care if I make it home alright or not. My father doesn't even get off the couch to see me out. Despite how much I bend myself to keep others around me safe, my parents do not feel the same for me.

"Sure," I slam the door. I won't call. I know it. She knows it. I'm not even sure why I came here other than obligation. Another compulsion.

I check my phone for the first time since I arrived, I roll my eyes at a text from my ex. I put my phone on do not disturb and turn on my car. Circa Survive plays quietly in the background as I buckle my seatbelt. I pull out of my parent's driveway and get on the highway. I set my cruise to three miles an hour under the speed limit. Half way back to my apartment it starts raining and I drop the cruise even more.

I do everything right, but you can only plan for yourself.

I register the lights coming directly for me, I register that it doesn't make sense because the highway is generally one way on your respective side. It takes too long to register the lights are real, they are coming right at me, and there's nothing I can do but take the impact.

What are guardrails for anyway?

That's what I'm thinking while I hear the metal of my roof crunch as it makes contact with the rail and continue down into the ditch I know is on this section of road. Flip. Flip. Flip. I'm upside down when I finally stop upside down. My right eye burns, I know this because it's my favorite eye out of the two, and I feel something trickle down my face.

Everything goes black.

When I wake up I know something is wrong immediately. I can't see anything through a dense fog. It's cold and I have to wrap my slender arms around myself to try to fight the chill. I don't know how I got here nor do I know how long I've been here. Everything is... gray. I'm the only person here and I am scared to death. I've never felt more alone, and that's saying a lot since I live alone.

I don't know what to do, so I begin walking. I walk until my feet are numb, but I still can't see anything. I eventually give up, I'm not making any progress and I'm exhausted. I collapse to the ground, but just before my eyelids close I catch a glimpse of something. It's a long black line in an endless sea of gray.

Tears pool in my eyes as I pull myself up off the ground, my body aches but I've never been more determined to get to something in my life. I can't catch up to the form no matter how far I walk. I grit my teeth through the pain and I take off into a run.