ONCE AGAIN

part 13

We walked to her car in silence. My body is still shaking. I couldn't help myself from shaking. I know I'm completely drenched. But Freen seems to be fine leaving me hanging like that. We entered into the car and drove off.

On our way I kept looking at her. I wish she can take me to her place instead. I want to be in her arms. I want her to make love to me tonight. My body can't contain what I feel inside. I love her so much and I haven't recovered from what happened in our unit earlier.

After an hour we got home. I didn't know how to say goodbye and I noticed she was finding it difficult to say it too. She was looking at me as though she would devour me. I was sad.

"Don't leave me hanging please. Not like this". I pleaded in my mind.

"Beck, I don't remember what happened that night at Kate's house..." she said breaking the silence.

"Uhm, nothing actually happened. You don't have to worry about that" I cut her off.

"Are you sure? Because I don't want to leave any misunderstanding between us. If I had done something inappropriate, I'm sorry about that..."

"Something inappropriate like what?"

Silence

"Like what just happened this evening?" I asked.

She was mute. Oh! It hurts. Why would she apologize for touching me? Am I the only one that feels this way? Doesn't she feel same way as I do? I looked at her but she quickly looked down.

"I'll be going in then" I said and she nodded.

I got out of the car, took few steps away but stopped.
No it shouldn't end like this. I know I am so desperate right now and I am no better than those girls she takes to bed. I am no better than Irene's colleague at work. But right now, all I want is Freen. My heart can't take it. I am ready for anything it may result after. I want to take this risk. I won't be able to live if I let her drive away like this.

I inhaled and exhaled heavily then turned and walked back into her car.

"Take me home" I pleaded.

"What?" she asked in shock.

"Please take me home Freen" I pleaded again. This time trying to hold back my tears but she was mute and was just looking at me shockingly.

"I need you Freen, please" I said letting go of my tears.

I feel like I have lost all my dignity. But I am weak right now. All I need now is Freen for my body to come back to normal. Even if it means to beg her to fuck me. Even if it means to be her whore for tonight.

I closed my eyes to remain calm but I instantly felt her thumb drying my tears. I opened my eyes to meet her gaze.

"Are you sure about this?" She asked and I just nodded.

"Are you sure you won't regret this later?" She asked.

This got my heart shattered into pieces. Of course I will definitely regret it later. But I am willing to take that risk.
I just held her hand and kissed her on the back of her palm.

"I am ready Freen" I said while staring at her in the eyes.
She nodded and started the car.

She drove at high speed to her home. I didn't pay attention to the speed. Infact it was not fast enough as I wished it to be. Throughout the journey to her home she kept massaging my laps. She would turn and look at me in a lovely way. That alone got me more excited. She continued caressing my thighs until we got home.

I didn't pay much attention to the building because I wasn't myself. She took me from the elevator. Kissing me sweetly and softly. Cupping my cheeks with her hands and giving me a romantic kiss.