ONCE AGAIN

part 26

As soon as my eyes sight Becky, I fell more in love with her. She looks so beautiful in this red dress. I stood looking at her without blinking as I keep admiring her. Gosh if I continue looking at her this way I might loose my shit and I already promised not to touch her. I helped her sit in front of me. I asked what she'd like to take and she ordered a red wine for us. Well, I don't mind taking anyone as long as Becky is okay with it. For some minutes we didn't take our eyes off each other. I smiled widely at her to ease the tension but there's no trace of smile on her face.

"Why did you ask to see me?" She finally broke the silence.

"I am sorry if I inconvenience you" I said

"It's fine." She said sipping her drink. There was silence again as I don't know how to start. My mind has a lot to say but my lips refused to voice them out. 

"We have been here for 30 minutes now and you haven't said anything to me. Should I take it that you have nothing to say?" She asked.

"I'm.. I'm sorry for what...what happened in my office that day. I'm sorry about Kim ..." I stammered

"Is that why you called me here?" She asked cutting me off.

"Becky, I know I hurt you deeply by not telling you. You got to find out the truth that way but believe me that engagement wasn't from me" I said

"My dad made a deal with the family...."

"She didn't sound like it was just a deal. I'm not stupid Freen" she said. She's not believing me. She thinks I'm still lying to her.

"Believe me Becky. The engagement wasn't from me. I had something with Kim in the past. I know how you feel Becky. Everything that happened is my fault. I started the whole thing and it's affecting me now."

"You don't know how I feel. You're engaged Freen. You'll soon get married to someone else. Am I supposed to still be by your side? Untill when? Till you walk down the aisle with someone else?" She said and I was speechless.

"Please come back to me Becky. Forgive me this once. I promise to fix everything. Please" I finally said.

"I'm sorry Freen. I can't do that. I can't do this with you anymore. You've forced me to move on from you. I don't want to take chances with you anymore" she said.

That broke my heart into pieces. Why is she telling me she's moved on? Moved on so quickly? Is that how to stop loving someone over night? I can't accept it. It's probably because she's still angry with me.

"Why are you saying you have moved on Becky? I know it's because you're still angry with me. You're hurting me by saying all these..." I said almost in tears

"Freen this is better for the both of us. We're obviously going to get hurt at the end. Why start something we can't finish? I am not ready to do that Freen" she said.

Why is she sounding like this? Does she not love me again? I thought we can work it out together. Is she really breaking up with me right now?

"Is this a goodbye from you, Becky? Don't you love me again?" I said. I can't handle the thought that Becky and I are completely over. I called her here to talk things out with her but she's sounding like she's made up her mind. It hurts so much. Tears starting gathering in my eyes. I quickly held her hands but she pulled away.

"Don't you want me again? Don't you love me again?" I asked again now more confused.

"I'm not sure if I still do." She said calmly. What? This can't be happening. She's lying to me right now. She told me she loves me. She confessed to me first.

"You told me you love me. I know you still do Becky. Why are you saying these. I know I hurt you. I am sorry about it but please don't do this to me. I can't bear it. My heart can't take it." I said with a shaky voice.