ONCE AGAIN

part 28

I walked down the stairs to meet my mum in the dinning. I sat quietly as she dished the food. I started eating gently while looking down. I don't want to meet her gaze. I'm sure Mrs. Liz have told her everything and somehow I feel embarrassed that she has to see me this way. This is the only good food I've eaten for over a week now.

"You need to eat more Freen. You have really lost weight" she said with a sad face.

"I don't care how I look.."

"You should care about it because people will think you're sick" she said.

Well, I'm sick. My heart is damaged. I said in my mind

"Have some juice also. You'll like the flavor" she said pouring in my cup.

"Thanks" I mouthed.

After some minutes, I was done. I looked at my mum while sipping my juice. I'm sure she has a lot to say but probably waiting for me to talk first but after some time without saying anything, she decided to ask.

"Aren't you going to tell me what happened to you?"

"Nothing happened, I just took some days off work. You've always told me to do that" I said

"Does that include locking yourself up and distancing yourself from your friends too?" She asked. I was mute

"Mrs. Liz told me you went to see some girl, and when you came back you became like this" she continued

"Who is this girl?" She asked warmly looking at me in the eyes.

"Are you not mad over Kim?" I asked confusedly

"Of course I am. You lied to me about your relationship with her. But the situation is between you and your dad". She said. She told me she won't get involved with anything concerning my dad and I and she has always maintained that.

"What did she do to you that made you become a vegetable? Did she say hurtful things to you? Did she reject you?" That last statement broke my heart

"Drop it mum." I said in a weak tone.

"She must be really interesting. Can't wait to meet this girl that humbled you so much to this level" she continued teasing me. Gosh she's getting me annoyed.

"You won't be able to meet her. She already broke up with me" I said sipping my drink.

"I know it didn't end well that's why you're like this. Does that girl know you're a Mom Luang?" She said while I glared at her.

"Stop already it's not funny" I said.

"What? I'm worried about you Freen. You abandoned work, locked yourself up like a child, cut yourself from your friends, and even refused eating good food. See how thin you have become. All because of this girl." She said. I didn't say anything.  After a minute of silence she continued

"You need to pick yourself up. Yes it's true that breaking up with the person we love hurts but life shouldn't end there. Life must go on. We must continue living. You can take days off, travel to beautiful places, meet new people, have so much fun but not to lock yourself and starve yourself like this. And when you're done mourning your relationship, you should bounce back as a Chankimha that you are." She said.

My tears started flowing again. She came closer to me to hug and wipe them away.

"Now you're crying like a baby but I'm glad though. I get to see your tears once again after many years." she said.

"Mum I can't sleep. Khun song's ghost is always haunting me. Trying to strangle me each time I close my eyes". I said.

"That's not your sister neither is it a ghost. It is your guilt. You have to get rid of it. Shake it off. You're not the first to make mistake. You need to forgive yourself and find your happiness again. One single thing that makes you happy. Hold on to it and you'll be shocked over how better you will become." She said still hugging me.