Spencer Charnas I.N.K. Imagines

The Simple Act Of Giving Up

Rolling over in bed, I reach out placing my hand across the bed. As it drops to the mattress instead of feeling for a body there, I pop open my eyes. Where my boyfriend was supposed to be laying was an empty bed. I knew he had a lot on his mind recently, with the new album in the works and the tour right around the corner.

"Spence?" I call out into the dark. No reply.

Rolling over to the other side of the bed, I switch the light on the nightstand next to me. Throwing off the covers I slip out of the bed. As my feet him the cold hardwood, it was like a shock to my system. Causing me to wake up fully. Grabbing the hoodie off the chair in the corner of the room, I pull it on, walking out into the dark hallway.

There was a distant sound of music being played across the house. It was too quiet to make out, but it sounded sad. The closer I got to the music, I could tell it wasn't just music being played, it was him playing. As I come around the corner of the living room, I could see him sitting in the tall oversized black chair in the corner. He had an acoustic guitar across his lap as he was tapping his left foot to some sort of beat.

Stopping in the doorway, I lean on the wall, watching him. His eyes were closed as he was strumming out a beautiful melody. There was passion and fire written all over his face. The tune sounded familiar, but you couldn't put a finger on it until he opened his mouth and started to sing.

So come on we're not fooling anybody tonight

We're the king and queen of social suicide

And things are better now knowing that we've never felt anyone else

A smile started to pull at the right side of my face. He knew how much I loved this song. He always wondered why, but I just couldn't explain it. As I stood there, I shifted my weight from one foot to the other but bumped the little table beside me.

"I didn't wake you, did I?" He stops playing as his eyes meet mine.

"No, no, I woke up and saw you were not in bed. Everything ok?" Walking over to the couch, you sit down crossing your legs, trying to read the worry on his face.

"I couldn't sleep. I'm sorry. I know you have to be up early today." He sets the guitar on the stand next to the chair. Sitting back down, he leans back closing his eyes. A heavy breath blows from him as I watch him tense.

"Babe? What's going on? You look like it's more than the normal stress." Leaning forward I place my hand on his leg. Gently rubbing my thumb back and forth. His eyes open and he leans his head forward to meet my eyes.

"I don't know, I just.....It's complicated." He taps the top of my hand before standing up. "Let's just go back to bed." Grabbing my hand, he pulls me up off the couch and into a hug.

"Why that song?" I whispered into his neck as my arms wrapped tightly around him.

"It just felt right." He breathed out as he rubbed his hands up my back. "Come on."

He pulls back, grabbing my hand once more, pulling me down the hall into the bedroom. Still confused and more concerned about what is eating at him. As I sit on the edge of the bed, I try my best to be the rock I have always been.

"Are YOU ok?" He had laid down, but reached out with his left hand, running it up and down my back.

Turning slightly, just enough to see the concern on his face, I forced a smile as I laid down. Rolling over into his side, I place my arm over his chest. "Yeah" was all I could muster up.

"Rest. You need it." He kissed my forehead as his arm wrapped around me.

"You do too." I looked up at him though my lashes as his face twisted up in pain. I knew there was more going on, but he wasn't ready to tell me.

All I could do was be there for him, as much as I could.....