Hell-Bent On Slipping Away

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"Heaven knows we need never be ashamed by our tears, for they are the rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I cried, than before - more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle." -Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

Gerard hadn't spoken to Frank in two days, not even giving him a ride to school, so Frank had a twenty minute bus ride to watch snow-blanketed suburban Indianapolis fly by twice a day. He utilized his time less than wisely - worrying. He felt like his heart had been dropped and broken into a million pieces. If he lost his best friend, he lost the biggest part of him. He considered his soul to be one-half Gerard, one-half music and instant ramen noodles. And the first part were gone, he'd be nothing more than a broke college student trapped in a lonely queer boy's body.

On both nights when he hadn't even communicated with Gerard, Frank considered braving the night and venturing to Gerard's house. To his dismay, though, he had no car, and even if he did, driving at age fifteen before he even considered getting his permit was laughable. He stayed put in his room, not daring to call Gerard. It was an enigma.

His anxieties spread to other facets of the young boy's mind; the semester was ending soon and he was failing three of his classes. He'd have to do some sort of credit recovery if he didn't want to repeat the ninth grade. Either way, his mom would find out, and there was no way that would end well. The only viable option to avoid certain hell was to work his ass off until he pulled at least a D minus.

Frank lay presently in his bed on the third afternoon of not speaking to his best friend, wanting nothing more than to sink into his mattress and never return. His mother called him out, though. She was waiting by the door, and on the threshold was who else but Mikey Way, wrapped in a thick jacket and bearing a stretched smile.

"Mikey here says you two have a project to work on," said Mrs. Iero, smiling, even though she seemed worn out like all mothers did. They didn't have a project or anything, but the way Mikey grinned broadly and opened his eyes wide told Frank not to reiterate this.

"Yeah, Frank, you need to come over so we can finish our project," he said, enunciating his words to put the point across. Frank caught on quickly; something was happening at the Way's house that needed his attention, most likely with Gerard.

He nodded slowly. "Okay, sounds good. Mom, can I go?"

"Of course," Mrs. Iero said as she smiled softly. "Mikey, it was great to finally meet you. Be home by dark, and call me if you need a ride home."

"Thanks, see you," said Frank quickly as he grabbed a coat and exited the house. He looked at Mikey, who had worry deep in his eyes. The color reminded Frank of Gerard's eyes, but somehow, the eldest brother's were more captivating. "What happened?" he asked as they briskly made their way down the icy cracked asphalt road in front of his house.

"I don't know," admitted Mikey, seemingly distraught. "It's Gerard, he - he hasn't come out of his room in a long time and I'm worried that he's gonna just leave again, and I don't know how to talk to him, so I'm sure you do." The last part came out all at once, as if he had been holding it in, saving the testament for Frank.

Frank mulled over this as he stared at the bumpy road, slick with ice. They made a turn and it became a nice paved cement, which indicated the main street in the neighborhood. Gerard's house was in the next neighborhood over, so they would have to cross the busy road that connected the two. On foot, Frank hated the route, but it always ended at Gerard's house, which never failed to lighten his mood.

This time, it could end two ways. Gerard could either forget about everything that happened earlier that week or could completely shut him out. Frank wasn't sure what could possibly be so secretive that Gerard had to keep him totally in the dark. Frank had a hunch it was something regarding his father, because there was literally nothing else in Gerard's life that would be the cause of just vanishing.